Showing posts with label guest author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest author. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

dressing room drama

tonight i remembered a story that i heard from my aunt back when i was a teenager. it was one of those great, embarrassing moment stories that just brings a smile to my face, so i asked her write it for me so i could post it here for you guys. thanks, aunt joan! i love you.
 
Back in my 30s, it was a big deal to go pick out a party dress for the big Christmas party that my employer put on every year. So, my husband (at that time) and I headed out to a local clothing store in Georgia after church, to find me a dress. I found several dresses to try on, and headed to the dressing room to start the fun. There was a line at the dressing room of about 4 people ahead of me. As we stood there waiting, a couple more lined up behind me to get a dressing room.
 
I finally got my turn at the very first dressing room. This room could easily be seen from the doorway where everyone was waiting in line to try on their "finds." I proceeded to strip off my clothes, leaving nothing on but my pantyhose and my bra. That was really all that was needed to try on party dresses! Keep in mind that the whole point of "pantyhose" is to not have to wear panties under them so that you have no lines showing through your clothes from panties. As I began to take one of the dresses off the hanger I noticed that there was something odd about the hem of the dress, so I knelt down to see if I could fix it. Of course, I didn't notice that the dressing room I was in was one of those that doesn't go all the way to the floor. My husband kept saying, "Joan, Joan, Joan!" and I kept saying, "I'll be out in a minute." "Quit talking to me", "I'm trying on dresses!" So, he finally gave up and left me to my foolishness.
 
When I finally came out of the dressing room, I got a cheer, a bunch of clapping, and my husband telling me that everyone could see my bare butt while I was down on the floor in my pantyhose. Needless to say, that was the last time I think I ever wore pantyhose, or used the very front dressing room located by the door. Unfortunately, it didn't change my normal urge to ignore my husband as he was trying to tell me something while I was deeply engrossed in something else.




Tuesday, February 22, 2011

guest post - family food fondness

i asked nari from narislife wrote a post for me about a childhood memory after she gave me such a wonderful lie story for how we met. here's her fun post about being a kid in a new country, learning about new foods. she's got another great one up on her own blog right now too about going camping, somewhat unprepared. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did!

Family Food Fondness


I was asked to write guest post about a childhood memory. This is what came to mind:

It seems that most people are able to associate various food items to fond childhood memories. When we go to California to visit my In-laws, my Mother-in-law has my Hubby’s favorite foods ready and waiting for us. There are taquitos with home-made guacamole and salsa, Spanish rice, menudo, tamales and she will fill her fridge and cabinets with all of the items he loved as a kid. Everything is delicious and my Hubby will reminisce about his younger days, prompted by the scent or flavor of something at the family table.

I’m fully aware that this isn’t an unusual phenomenon for most people. I have tried to do the same for my girls throughout their childhood. I just didn’t grow up with the same experiences.

I was born in Thailand and moved to the states when I was three. My first real food memory was from Southern Florida. I was at a neighbor’s house on a Saturday morning. The neighbor kids were about to have breakfast and I had been invited to eat over because they were taking us all to a place called Lithia Springs for the day to play in a shallow lagoon full of large algae covered rocks. We would swing on ropes hanging from tree tops into this slimy, rocky pool of potential broken bones and concussions. It was great! I was four years old and the only rule was that I could only swing off the ropes I could reach on my own.

As I sat at their dining room table with a bowl, a spoon and a glass of orange juice before me, a box and a pitcher of milk were set on the table. I watched my friend grab the box and pour stuff into her bowl which sounded just like the cat’s food when my mom filled its bowl in the mornings. I grabbed the box a little warily and filled my bowl. I could feel my eyes bulge as I saw what lay before me. It didn’t look anything like cat food. This was colorful and smelled sweet. My friend then handed me the pitcher of milk which she had added to her bowl of what must surely be some sort of candy. I followed suit and only ended up having time for about three bites of this crunchy creamy concoction of milk and pure sugar.

When I got home that day, I asked my mom if she would get this box of goodness for me. I didn’t know what it was called so I described it to her and she said she would look for it. She came home the next day with a very small box that didn’t look quite right but she said she didn’t want to waste money on something I might not really like. In my childish heart, I knew that wouldn’t be a problem but I didn’t argue. I waited eagerly for morning to come and was up and at the table about twenty minutes before anyone else had even woken up.

Once my mom finally woke up, she got out the little box and poured the contents into a bowl. She added milk and set it in front of me with a spoon. I dipped my spoon into the bowl and pulled it out carefully, making sure I had the perfect milk to sugary crunchiness ratio. I opened my mouth and filled it with what had become my newest obsession. I closed my eyes to better savor the flavor…and proceeded to gag. I spit the soggy disgusting mess into my bowl and stared at it in horror. My mom just took the bowl away from the table talking about how she was glad she bought a small box instead of getting the full sized one.

I didn’t eat cereal again until I reached high school. I was convinced it was one of the most disgusting things in the world until the day my mom idly asked me if I remembered when we first came to the states and I had asked for cereal. She laughed as she told me she had actually bought Cracker Jacks by mistake because it was smaller and cheaper and it seemed like the same thing.

My mom never really cooked much and I ate what I was served. She was always looking for a bargain and unfortunately, quality sometimes paid the price. My mother believed that Kraft Macaroni N Cheese was only cheap because they had a deal with the milk and butter industry, since the directions required the adding of both of those ingredients. But not MY mom, she would cut the butter amount in half and add water in place of milk. There was no way she was falling victim to the food industry.

So I guess you can say that I do indeed have family food memories. They just aren’t the ones you would expect. (In case you’re wondering, it took years before I was willing to eat Mac N Cheese again.)


now go, visit nari & make a new friend!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

guest post - over and out

one day last week i asked my readers to tell me how we met, but to make it a total fabrication with points for creativity. i said that i'd pick a couple of my favorites & ask those people to be my guest author over here for a day. and it just so happens that my mom was the first of my two favorites. i asked her to write out a childhood story and here is the delightfully naughty tale of 2 little girls who lived in a different and much safer world than the one where we currently dwell. i hope you'll enjoy it as much as i have. thanks, mom!


Over and Out

It is trendy these days among the baby boomer crowd, of which I am a certified member, to blow the dust off their old Super 8 home movie reels and pack them off to some high tech digital world where the memories can be rescued from oblivion and mysteriously transformed into dvd's which then have the potential to make their grandchildren howl with laughter. This is all good family fun which I wholeheartedly endorse, although I myself haven't yet braved the depths of the storage closets where such dusty reels of youthful memories may be found.


In spite of the clarity that a dvd will suddenly bring to the hazy memories of childhood birthday parties, babies' first steps, and Junior sharing his ice cream cone with Fido, some of the best memories are those that were never captured on film of any kind. Those are the spontaneous moments that burst from our creative youthful psyches, demanding their release in some form, often referred to as foolishness by the parents. I can't speak for what others do with such memories, but I find myself playing them over and over with great delight in the halting, cloudy, imperfect manner in which they were originally stored in the gray matter file labeled "Life was Good". Since it is rare that anyone besides myself will ever view these files, it is of little consequence that some scenes are blurred and most of the sound track has gone missing. What matters is the warm feelings that are evoked when the worn tape is run again, taking me back to a time when the biggest concern of a summer day was whether to spend my dime on a popsicle or save it until next week when I would have two dimes and could purchase an ice cream sandwich.

On one such day, of which there seemed to be no end until suddenly they were over, my best friend had invited me for a sleepover. My mother seemed to be as excited as I was whenever I got such an invitation. Perhaps it was her shared joy in my happiness, but more likely it was her secret relief to have one less child under her roof fighting over whether to watch Bugs Bunny or Lassie on the one television set shared by eight of us. Grabbing a paper grocery bag and quickly stuffing it with a few things any ten year old tomboy would consider necessities, I raced out the door, jumped on my bike, and after five minutes of pedaling through the village I was there. Really there. Overnights with Kathy were the open doors of my childhood when anything was possible, and I threw myself into these opportunities with the careless abandon that adults rarely experience and barely remember.

In typical fashion, we sat among the clutter on the floor of her fabulously untidy bedroom, petting her cats, rearranging the rocks and twigs in our woolly bear aquarium, smoothing and braiding the colorful hair of her troll dolls, and squishing the occasional flea we picked off our legs. And, predictably, a plan began to hatch for an adventure.

Being normal kids, our adventures generally broke some rules of social conduct or personal safety, but we were not being rebellious, just allowing our childish dreams and fantasies to be our guide to fun. On this particular evening we thought it would be great fun to play outside after dark. The obvious obstacle, however, was the parents. How to get around that obstacle? That was the challenge to be solved, and solve it we did. Kathy's family lived in an old clapboard house with three bedrooms downstairs and one very large bedroom and huge closet upstairs. Since she was the only girl in the family, she was given the coveted upstairs bedroom as her personal kingdom, and rarely did anyone venture up the stairs other than Kathy and her best friend. If we could just figure out a way to reach the ground safely from the porch roof we would be golden.

In the next several adrenaline driven minutes we stripped the bunk beds of sheets and proceeded to tie the ends together with big clumsy knots. Two sheets from each bed produced enough length to reach from the window, across the roof, and over the edge to within five feet of the ground. Perfect! We were both good climbers on the ropes in our school gym class, so we were confident we could climb down the sheet rope and easily drop to the ground. I volunteered to go first while Kathy stood on the roof watching the window to make sure it didn't slide up and let loose of the knot that would be holding my life in its grip. In mere moments I was on the ground whooping a silent victory cheer while gradually becoming aware of a deep insecurity rising up within me as I gaped into that vast sea of darkness. My urgent whispered pleadings for my friend to hurry down and join me were finally rewarded, and together we jumped around and celebrated our success, confident in the security that each provided the other.


image found here

So there we were. Two little girls in their pajamas standing in a once familiar backyard in the dark, not sure what to do next. These were the days when children in small towns were allowed to roam freely during the day. Parents didn't concern themselves about a child's absence for hours, because the whole village was a playground and when they got hungry they would come home. We were familiar with every street in the village, and our curiosity to experience our well-known world in its darker version propelled us out of the backyard and down the block. Wow. Everything looked so different. It was like looking at negatives of photographs, where the normally dark colors were light and the light colors were dark. Windows that were dark during the day were lit up, many uncovered, revealing bits of private lives that we knew we were not entitled to gaze upon so boldly. But with a defiance we believed the darkness would hide, we gazed and gazed. There was a fascination with seeing a man move across a room toward a television, or a woman standing with her face to the window in what appeared to be a posture of dishwashing, knowing that these individuals had no idea they were being watched. It was the naughtiest thing we had ever done in our lives and we crept through the town looking for uncovered windows to gawk into until we began to get cold. We had had our fun and we were ready to call it a night.

Not until we stepped back into Kathy's backyard and saw that white sheet rope dangling five feet above the ground did it occur to us that we couldn't reach it to climb back up. As panic threatened to devour us we held each other, shivering, and devised a new plan. We would simply have to wait it out. There was no habit of door locking in those days. What was the need for locking a door when crime in our village was almost unheard of? So we figured if we could just be patient we would be able to enter the house through the back door once her parents had gone to bed and they would never be the wiser. For the next hour we did what our exhausted bodies could do in an effort to keep ourselves warm in the damp, rapidly cooling night air. We were rewarded with the amusing scene of her teenage brother staring at his reflection in the kitchen window, apparently admiring what he saw. But for the most part the wait was long, cold, boring, and a little frightening as silence magnified the night sounds of unidentified creatures.

The house had been completely dark for some time and we decided this was our chance to sneak back in, creep up the stairs, pull the knotted sheets back in through the window, and snooze the rest of the night away in the guilty pleasure of a successful adventure. The factor we hadn't taken into consideration was that an old house has more creaky spots than our grandmothers' arthritic knees. From the first step inside the door our presence was announced loudly by the tattletale floor boards. Before we had made it halfway across the kitchen our deception was exposed by a flood of light when her father, unashamed in his underwear, flipped the wall switch. Busted.