sheri-licious

my good buddy Karen over at Ow, My Angst did a fun post a few days ago where she gave herself a makeover, jersey-style to show her love of the tv show Jerseylicious. it's a show about some jersey girls who do hair and makeup ~ and when i say they do them, i mean they do it all excessively. tons of makeup crammed onto their faces and big, big hair.

i thought it would be fun to do one of these myself, so i asked her to make it into a meme in order to make it seem like i wasn't just being a lame copycat, even though i am. you'll see her linky and note at the bottom of this post if you want to participate too. men, that includes you. please, feel free to indulge your inner diva and take pics to show us your creative process.

that means i'm the first to jump onto the karenlicious bandwagon with a makeover of my own.

with no further adieu . . .

i filled my bathroom counter filled with various and sundry hair and makeup items.

then I started with a blank canvas. scary, I know.

then i painted my face with waaayy too much concealer, foundation and powder.

next comes the choice of what color to put on my eyes. those are always the most fun to create.

 this was done with brow liner, 6 different eyeshadow colors, plus black liquid eyeliner out the wazoo.

i guess it's time to do something with my stupid hair. hmmm.... i don't have a bump it to lift it up. or any extensions. or a flat iron. dang it, i'm just stuck with my hair dryer and standard curling iron. well, it's not big enough to look like a proper jersey girl, but it's bigger than usual. let's just overlook it, shall we? look at my lipliner instead, okay? niiiccee!

smile pretty for the camera!

okay, i'm starting to feel weird about taking my picture all alone in my bathroom with a face caked in goop. maybe if i make some faces, that'll help.

i've got some great stink-face going on here.

it's feeling less and less like jerseylicious and more and more like glamor shots gone horribly wrong. in my bathroom.

 okay, that was fun. now it's time to go cook dinner and toss in another load of laundry. i'm so glamorous i make those licious girls jealous.

brooke decided to let me make up her face and floof up her hair today too and she wrote about it and included pictures on her own blog. to see and read about it, check out hers here. it's funny.

if you want to join in the face painting fun, here's karen's blurb and info.

The "Karenlicious Meme"

Make yourself delicious!  

Karen is a blah, boringly natural housewife and mom most of the time.  But she made herself DELICIOUS. 

 

Here's what you do:  throw a shovel-full of makeup onto your grill.  Take as many before and after photos as you want of your transformation. Post these insane photos for all the world to see, with the "karen-licious" banner.

Invite your friends to pass it on and be ridiculous too! 

Then go wash your face.  You're fine just the way you are.  But not today!  Today you are

KARENLICIOUS!

thanks for thinking of me, rosie.

i've been given several blogging awards over the past few months, but i've been horribly neglectful of attending to them in the proper fashion. i have this thing about being given an assignment & told that there are rules that i'll need to follow. there are very few responsibilities that i feel i can neglect at this stage of life, but passing on blogging awards is one that i can pass by without too much guilt.

however, sweet, big footed rosie gave me an award tonight that she created herself & she says that i'm the inspiration for it, so i can't pass it up. actually, i've been feeling rather stale here in the blog world lately & lacking inspiration, so this is just what i needed to work up a post tonight.

it's the all new SBD award. i'm sure you all know that sbd stands for "silent but deadly" in the world of flatulence, so in honor of this award, i need to tell you a fart story (sorry mom, here comes another one. you should tune out now). at first i was thinking that i've told you all of my good ones already, but there's one i've held back & today looks to be just the day to set it free.

when i was a nanny, my boss worked at a hospital & she set me up on a blind date with a man with whom she worked. he was a nurse of the variety that any straight woman would love to have attending to her needs if she found herself in the hospital for a few days. his name was mike & he was 30 years old. at the time, i was only 20, so the age difference seemed pretty significant, but i was willing to give it a try. we went out for several months and things were going along splendidly, even though he never failed to remind me how much younger i was than his wise, old self.

my 21st birthday rolled around while we were dating. i was looking forward to that big first night of legal drinking & debauchery and he was going to be my chaperon & coach for the event since he'd been drinking for ten years already and knew his way around a bar. his best friend wanted to go along for the festivities because he never missed a chance to go drinking, but the friend had an early flight to catch the next morning. so we decided to kick things off early & headed for the first place around 5pm. the two of them placed me on a bar stool between them & took turns ordering me fancy drinks. we went to a few different establishments that may or may not have been classy, it's hard to say because it's all blurry now, and i got drinks everywhere we went. by 8:30 mike drove us back to his place because i was clearly in no shape to be driving & i would need to be supervised throughout the night since it was my first big drunk.

i was tucked into bed by 9pm on my 21st birthday & dead to the world before i even made it to a horizontal position. mike went downstairs & left me snoring & drooling in bed. a couple hours later i woke up with the sudden need to puke. i made a dash for the bathroom and proceeded to do some bonding with that toilet, glad that i'd cleaned the bathroom a few days earlier.

mike came upstairs when he heard me stomping about. i'd locked the door & was thankful i had because i didn't care to have this lovely man witness me with mascara dripping down my cheeks & barf on my lips. he was knocking on the door and asking if he could help in any way. between retches, i was trying to convince him that he should leave. he didn't. he stood there on the other side of the door, wanting to be the nurse that he was. then i suddenly knew that i was about to fart. and not just a little one, but a big one and i wasn't going to be able to contain it while i was leaned over and heaving. i was starting to panic, but then i had the bright idea to use my finger to block my butt hole, to prevent the fart from being able to escape.

it was only a couple moments before the next puke came up, but my finger was there, ready to save me from embarrassing myself. or so i thought. rather than a standard fart, what came out was a long, high pitched whistle, like air being let out of a pinched balloon. i froze, eyes wide in disbelief at what i'd just heard. i thought maybe it had just sounded like that to me because i was vomiting, like some kind of inner ear disconnect, but no such luck.

i heard a tentative knock after that and mike spoke softly through the door, "um, did you just... whistle?"

and that is the biggest memory i have from my 21st birthday.

now i am supposed to pass this on to 5 others who might be willing to share a fart story of their own or perhaps a story from someone close to them if they can't bear to bring the shame on them self.

so i'd like to give this to:
tracy over at it's an average life. i don't know if she still tells such stories anymore, but once upon a time, she was really good at them.
jdracecar at it's always funny in colum-bubble. i'm not sure i've seen her write such a story yet, but i think she's capable of it.
i'd love for karen over at ow, my angst to consider taking on the SBD challenge because she's really funny.
i think laughing mom at where's the funny here could probably work up a fart post, if not about herself, then perhaps about one of her kids.
and george at symdaddy journal can probably write something amusing on the topic of flatulence.

for those of you who are getting this, please feel free to not do it. there will be no feelings hurt if you don't want to or aren't in the mood for such foolishness. and on the opposite side, if you've got a really great toot story you've been itching to tell, i'll be glad to add your name & your link to the award list.

i'd say this also qualifies as a friday confession, so there's all kinds of excitement going on here today.



and with that, i bid you, adieu.

it's not a balloon - friday confessional

this is one of those stories that i've thought of writing for a while because it's a good one, if by good i mean horrible, but i've debated with myself because i try to only embarrass myself here. but today i'm inspired by reading this post by helene & it was a long time ago & no one remembers it but me, so here goes. oh, and i'm going to apply the kitty rule now.

when my daughter was 3, we became friends with a single mom & her little daughter who was close to brooke's age. the girls had lots of fun together & we moms got to talk and laugh & compare mothering tales. we spent tons of time together since chris was at work almost every night & our girls were too young for school so there was no schedule to worry about.

one night, it was getting late, so we decided to give the girls a bath in order to prolong our visit a bit and give the kids something to keep them busy. their house was very small & when i was sitting in the living room, i could clearly see straight into the bathtub, not more than ten or fifteen feet away.

so once the girls were washed up, we left them in the tub, splashing around & having a good time. my friend and i were chatting in the living room. then i noticed that brooke was holding something i didn't recognize. it didn't look like any bath toy i'd ever seen before. she put it up to her sweet, clean, little mouth & started to blow it up like a balloon.



i walked into the bathroom & took it away from her & went back into the living room to ask my friend what it was. she kind of giggled and told me that it was her d0uchebag & why was i asking. i told her that brooke had been blowing into it. she turned red and i turned green.

i pulled brooke out of that tub, got her dried and dressed in record time & then zoomed home to wash & scrub out her mouth in an effort to purify the nastiness. she wasn't pleased at having her teeth brushed repeatedly, but i didn't know what else to do. if i'd thought she could manage some listerine, i would have pried her lips open & poured it in with a funnel.

and that is my friday confessional

flatulence

about a month ago i participated in a battle of the blogs at tracy's place, it's an average life, where i was given the topic of flatulence & the postion of pro. tracy is over the blogging business and has resigned. since this post never made it on my own site, i decided to post it here today. i've got a post in my head that i'm working on, but it may still not be ready for a couple more days, so if you haven't already read this one, and you're not grossed out by tooting, here you go.

i've been assigned the task of being a fart advocate. creating fervor for flatulence. giving props to the poots. and sadly, this is not much of a stretch for me.

i decided to take this business seriously, so i did some research: ie, i asked on my facebook status if anyone had any gassy wisdom they'd like to share with me. thankfully most of my friends are low class, so i got some positive feedback.

as it turns out, according to nurses nationwide, farting is something that is beneficial for your health. when i had surgery to remove a human from my body (aka c-section) i was told that i couldn't go home until i farted. clearly, there must be something very valuable about the removal of gas from the ass if holding it means you're held hostage in the hospital. the nurses cheered & clapped when i blasted a big one 2 days after birth. never had i been so proud of my ability to cut the cheese.

this brings me to a suggestion for all of us, when it comes to selecting a mate. in other species, the male and female choose the suitor who is most desirable, physically. they want the largest or strongest or in the case of the lion, the ladies pick the dude with the darkest mane. they want to know that their mate is healthy and will likely produce offspring with alpha potential.

forget sexy legs or piercing bedroom eyes, i think we should start evaluating each possible mate based on health & vitality. one sure sign of heartiness and a diet high in fiber is the quality & quantity of toots.

imagine, if you will, a bar filled with speed daters. there are 40 people in the room, all looking for a love to last through the ages. they've all suffered from heartache and squandered dreams in the past, but this time, they're determined not to make the same mistakes. this time, they all came prepared. they've filled up on garbanzo beans and broccoli, brussel sprouts and asparagus & they're ready to find their mates. each person spends 2 minutes with the other mating candidates. their goal is to impress and be impressed. they skip past the small talk, who cares about jobs or astrological signs? she coyly raises her eyebrow as she raises her butt cheek, allowing for the optimal amount of noise and smell enhancement. she waves her hand seductively to waft the smell his way & then smiles and lowers her chin to gaze at him through her lashes while he takes it all in. he smiles and nods approvingly, then turns his back to her and arches his back. he lets forth with a bellow from below, turning his head to look over his shoulder, not wanting to miss her reaction to his power. he winks at her, then leans across the table toward her to whisper something in her ear. one word was all it took. "cabbage."

a love connection was made that night and one couple left together, awash in gastrointestinal bliss.

this, my friends, is a fairy tale with a happy ending. and one that can be yours if only you'll put your best toot forward.

guest post - family food fondness

i asked nari from narislife wrote a post for me about a childhood memory after she gave me such a wonderful lie story for how we met. here's her fun post about being a kid in a new country, learning about new foods. she's got another great one up on her own blog right now too about going camping, somewhat unprepared. i hope you enjoy it as much as i did!

Family Food Fondness


I was asked to write guest post about a childhood memory. This is what came to mind:

It seems that most people are able to associate various food items to fond childhood memories. When we go to California to visit my In-laws, my Mother-in-law has my Hubby’s favorite foods ready and waiting for us. There are taquitos with home-made guacamole and salsa, Spanish rice, menudo, tamales and she will fill her fridge and cabinets with all of the items he loved as a kid. Everything is delicious and my Hubby will reminisce about his younger days, prompted by the scent or flavor of something at the family table.

I’m fully aware that this isn’t an unusual phenomenon for most people. I have tried to do the same for my girls throughout their childhood. I just didn’t grow up with the same experiences.

I was born in Thailand and moved to the states when I was three. My first real food memory was from Southern Florida. I was at a neighbor’s house on a Saturday morning. The neighbor kids were about to have breakfast and I had been invited to eat over because they were taking us all to a place called Lithia Springs for the day to play in a shallow lagoon full of large algae covered rocks. We would swing on ropes hanging from tree tops into this slimy, rocky pool of potential broken bones and concussions. It was great! I was four years old and the only rule was that I could only swing off the ropes I could reach on my own.

As I sat at their dining room table with a bowl, a spoon and a glass of orange juice before me, a box and a pitcher of milk were set on the table. I watched my friend grab the box and pour stuff into her bowl which sounded just like the cat’s food when my mom filled its bowl in the mornings. I grabbed the box a little warily and filled my bowl. I could feel my eyes bulge as I saw what lay before me. It didn’t look anything like cat food. This was colorful and smelled sweet. My friend then handed me the pitcher of milk which she had added to her bowl of what must surely be some sort of candy. I followed suit and only ended up having time for about three bites of this crunchy creamy concoction of milk and pure sugar.

When I got home that day, I asked my mom if she would get this box of goodness for me. I didn’t know what it was called so I described it to her and she said she would look for it. She came home the next day with a very small box that didn’t look quite right but she said she didn’t want to waste money on something I might not really like. In my childish heart, I knew that wouldn’t be a problem but I didn’t argue. I waited eagerly for morning to come and was up and at the table about twenty minutes before anyone else had even woken up.

Once my mom finally woke up, she got out the little box and poured the contents into a bowl. She added milk and set it in front of me with a spoon. I dipped my spoon into the bowl and pulled it out carefully, making sure I had the perfect milk to sugary crunchiness ratio. I opened my mouth and filled it with what had become my newest obsession. I closed my eyes to better savor the flavor…and proceeded to gag. I spit the soggy disgusting mess into my bowl and stared at it in horror. My mom just took the bowl away from the table talking about how she was glad she bought a small box instead of getting the full sized one.

I didn’t eat cereal again until I reached high school. I was convinced it was one of the most disgusting things in the world until the day my mom idly asked me if I remembered when we first came to the states and I had asked for cereal. She laughed as she told me she had actually bought Cracker Jacks by mistake because it was smaller and cheaper and it seemed like the same thing.

My mom never really cooked much and I ate what I was served. She was always looking for a bargain and unfortunately, quality sometimes paid the price. My mother believed that Kraft Macaroni N Cheese was only cheap because they had a deal with the milk and butter industry, since the directions required the adding of both of those ingredients. But not MY mom, she would cut the butter amount in half and add water in place of milk. There was no way she was falling victim to the food industry.

So I guess you can say that I do indeed have family food memories. They just aren’t the ones you would expect. (In case you’re wondering, it took years before I was willing to eat Mac N Cheese again.)


now go, visit nari & make a new friend!

good times in farty town

my good buddy tracy, over at It's An Average Life is hosting a month long "battle of the blogs" where she has a bunch of followers who signed up for some debating good times. she chose the pairings, mostly boys against girls, and she gave us each a quirky topic & which position we would be arguing. i was paired up with underground dude and our topic was flatulence. what a lucky surprise for me since i do enjoy some good potty humor & when i'm given an assignment to write about it, it makes me feel more mature, like it's a legitimate exercise.

so if you want to go check it out over in tracy town, here's the link to gassy greatness. (*update. that link goes to a dead page. here's a link that will take you to the story.)

and for those of you who are here from checking me out after reading that tacky delight, WELCOME! i appreciate you & i'm glad you're here! introduce yourselves & i'll come check you out.

innocent wonder

i thought i'd participate in one of these photography challenges this week. the subject is "innocent wonder" and this picture makes me happy every time i look at it. it says happy, innocent childhood to me. 

kids in costume

photo freak is having a contest of kids in costume & that is one thing i have loads & loads of pictures of since my child is in costume just about every single day and my camera is out annoyingly often.

i was thinking about which one is my favorite costume picture & i think it's this one. you don't see the joy in her eyes, but when i look at it, i know she was fully immersed in the moment & feeling like a truly wild creature, hiding in a tree. and wild cats who are hiding don't smile because hiding is serious business.
now the only question is, is it better in color or black & white?

who me? stylish? you must have the wrong girl.

today i got an award from the exciting and always entertaining lady estrogen over at adventures in estrogen. we just discovered each other recently, but i like her, even though i can't be certain that her stories are safe for reading when the wee one is lurking about.

How this works...
1. Thank and link back to the person who honored you with this award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 recently discovered bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award!

and here's my list.
1. i could live on cheese and potatoes for the rest of my life.
2. sitting down onto a warm, recently vacated toilet seat is like accidentally eating a piece of popcorn that someone else has sucked on & then spit out. gives me a bad case of the shuddering yucks.
3. i chomp & chew on gum like an agitated 12 year old girl all the time.
4. i love watching holly hobby movies with my daughter.
5. when i was a kid, i had a rabbit named bunz and he died from having too much diarhea. i guess his buns were rotten.
6. pepto bismol is a tasty treat to me. i can drink it like a smoothie and if i eat with too much abandon on those cheese & taters, i need it.
7. my idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit.

i don't know about 15, but here are the blogs i'd like to award this time around because for most of them, i just found them recently & i like them. now go & read & show them some love!
a little sprite

facing 50 with humor

in the gutter

into the chrysalis

happy hoots and photo shoots

it's always funny in colum-bubble

it's time for the burkalater

ow, my angst

pink satin sashes

cake and cup

no botox allowed

the little gray house

for those of you who are getting this award from me, feel free to do nothing with it unless you want to. i just wanted to share some love, not push you into a post you don't feel like doing.
happy hopping!

ultra cute kitty hat

i recently placed an order with erin over at ultra cute crochet for a kitty hat for brooke. as most of you know, brooke likes to wear animal ears on her head pretty much all the time, but when it's cold out & a hat or hood is required, she's sad not to be able to wear her ears. i figured this would be the perfect solution and erin was kind enough to make exactly the hat we were looking for.

when i opened the package & showed brooke the hat just a minute ago, she snatched it out of my hand, crammed it down onto her head & started screaming about how awesome it is & how she's never going to take it off again, not even to sleep.

she even recorded a message for erin to tell her how much she loves it. big thanks & i highly recommend ordering with her if you're looking for anything beautifully made & adorable.

the sounds of the season aka: BAD KITTY!

today started out with noise. i woke up to the sound of my alarm. three different times. i just wanted to snuggle up against my warm, snoring honey, glad that he was finally getting some rest. holiday season working the night shift in a book store means very late nights & lots of stress being shovelled down the corporate ladder, so i was glad he was snoozing peacefully & decided to let him sleep in & skip church this morning.

i left my room to the sound of youtube playing in the kitchen. once again, brooke was up & surfing the webkinz videos. i smiled, happy to know that she's techno savvy & capable of entertaining herself. and also that she's not hunting for naughty business online yet.

a hot shower followed & there may have been some singing of christmas carrols under the steam. then it was brooke's turn under the hot water & when i stepped out of the bathroom to find clothes, i heard the tinkling of a little bell. i stopped in my tracks to think about what it could be. chris was still snoring. brooke was showering. sophie (old cat) was sleeping in my room. that only left nim, the stupid unsophisticated kitten. it was coming from the living room. the room where the christmas tree currently resides. crap. i know that sound - it's the bell on a fancy little ornament that i've had for decades & hung up, along with all the other delicates at the very top of the tree this year in hopes of keeping it out of reach of the furry little minkey.

we've been chasing ms kitten britches out of the tree since the night we put it up. we keep a squirt bottle loaded & ready to fire into the tree at the slightest provocation. she usually just gives us a look like she's grateful that we saved her a trip the water bowl & licks her fur dry just until we turn around or leave the room & then straight back up into the branches again.

but this time, she'd made it all the way to the top. when i came hauling down the stairs in my bathrobe prepared to give her a proper soaking, this is the sight that greeted me.

she was too cute for me to squirt her before taking a couple pics, so she got to prolong her glorious moment in her kitty condo o pine.

then there was the sound of her diving backwards out of the tree & down into the corner with a plop and a thump when i unloaded my water cannon on her. good times.

i'm participating in the show me your tree blog hop & here's the button that should take you into the homes & trees of others if you're interested.

word verification wednesday

as most of you probably know, when you comment on many blogs, there's a word verification process wherein you need to type some gibberish in order to leave your comment. for me, that's a pesty extra step, so i took it away in order to hopefully make commenting on my blog a more pleasurable experience. but that doesn't mean i get to skip that step when commenting on other people's blogs. it was suggested by eva over at wrestling with retirement that we should save these "words" & refurbish them into useful contributors in our language. i think that's a great idea, so i've been writing them down each time i've run into them this week & i'd like to present you with my new suggestions for webster.

haliaku - a haiku written specifically about halitosis. as in, "students, this week we've been studying dental hygiene and the art of japanese poetry, so now i want you to each write a haliaku"

stionate - someone's who's fashion taste got stuck in another era. as in, "that stionate needs to get out of the 80's because color blocking and florescents do nothing for her hips."

trubidi - a woman who's been a chronic gossip her whole life. as in, "i swear, that trubidi's been talking crap about people since she learned to form words."

anter - an entomologist who takes a special interest in ants. as in they'd write in their personal ad, "anter seeking female with pointy mandibles and curvaceous abdomen."

lumpers - slang for a venereal disease common among soldiers. as in, "how many more men are going to catch the lumpers before they start using the rubbers they're given?"

dimids - a group of dumb kids. as in, "some years a teacher gets a great class, other years, nothing but dimids."

wactio - what you call your crappy import car that's green, but has no power and won't drive faster than 38 mph. as in, "you'll be sorry you bought that wactio when you need to bash it out with the crazy shoppers on black friday."

spoldbab - a vile smelling, moldy substance sometimes found in spongebob's tighty whities. as in (spoken in my crabs' voice) "spongebob, maybe if you changed your underwear sometimes, you wouldn't get that spoldbab and drive away all our customers."

the christmas fiasco of '87

i was thinking about writing a christmas story to help out tracy at "it's an average life" while she takes some time off from writing, but doesn't want her blog to go silent. i was digging through my brain bank of christmases past & there's one that stands out from my typical childhood holidays.

all through our growing up years, my brother & i almost always knew where our parents stashed our christmas presents. they'd told us the real deal on santa when we were only 3 and 4, so it only went to reason that if there was no santa, then the gifts must be stashed somewhere nearby. it wasn't long before our parents wised up to our snooping & put a padlock on the basement cupboard where the goodies were being stored. that shut us down for a few years... until we moved into a new house that didn't come equipped with such a conveniently lockable storage space.

it didn't take us long to start up our snooping ways afresh when we moved & realized that the hiding options were limited. we figured that the most secure location in the house was probably our parents' bedroom, so we took a divide & conquer approach & it wasn't long before we hit pay dirt. we found stuff in the dresser drawers & a bonus batch of loot in the bottom of their closet.

we kept up the digging & sneaking each time my parents were expected to be out of the house for at least half an hour. it seemed like that left us enough of a buffer to check for any newly acquired goodies & still get out without being caught. we'd keep each other informed if we found things for each other so that there would be no surprises come christmas morning. if we only had limited time, we'd hit the closet first because that's where mom kept the good stuff. the dresser was mostly the piddly stocking stuff like gum, cheapie toys and maybe some bags of rubber bands (we loved to shoot each other with them).

by this time we were probably 10 and 11 & we did the naughty spying for at least 2 years, undiscovered. our parents had laid down the law at some point & made it perfectly clear that if they ever found out we'd been peeking at our presents, those very presents would be returned to the store & we would not get them.

we thought we were master spies. we thought we'd never get caught. we thought wrong.

i clearly remember being deep into the pile on mom's side of the closet, admiring the cute new clothes i'd be getting in just a few days. chris was digging through his own future belongings...when we heard a noise. we both froze for a moment before starting to frantically stuff things back into the spaces where we'd found them. we usually tried to be precise about putting them away, but this time it was more about speed so we wouldn't get caught with our heads tangled in mom's dresses & our fingers in the cookie jar.

we weren't fast enough. in less time than we'd have dreamed possible, mom had made it up the stairs & into her bedroom & caught us in the act of spying. there was no way to deny it. the evidence was plain as day for all of us to see. and i've got to give my mom credit for thinking on her feet because she separated us right away & gave us paper & pens & told us to write down everything we'd found. since we'd made sure to keep each other informed about every scrap we came across, we couldn't plead ignorance about anything even if we hadn't laid eyes on it ourselves. and since we were separated & didn't know what the other would write, we had to put it all down there, on paper, to damn ourselves or risk even further punishment for trying to lie by omission. HO-LY CRAP!

she compared our lists & consulted with dad; all the while we tried to hide away where we wouldn't be seen & might possibly be forgotten about altogether rather than face the consequences that we knew were coming our way. i don't remember any yelling, just that eery silence that should never exist in a happy home with 4 lively kids. silence...

it seemed like it would never end. we whispered together about whether or not they'd actually go through with their threats. they were usually pretty solid about sticking to what they'd said, but in this case, surely they wouldn't take away our whole christmas! surely they loved us enough to have pity on our souls. if there was any love in the world, they would have to change their minds & let us have all those beautiful presents in their stash.

a couple days later, it was christmas eve. it was a saturday. dad didn't have to go to work that day, so it was decided that it was time for the presents to all be returned. my dad & brother drove around town & took back all the gifts that we'd thought we would be getting. i stayed home & helped mom cook & bake the festive food. i wasn't mad at my parents because in my heart, i knew that i'd broken the rules. i knew that i wasn't exempt from the rules & that there were repercussions for my actions. i was sad, but i'd learned a valuable lesson that i knew would stick with me for my whole life. if mom & dad said it, i could be darn sure they meant it. they meant business even in the things that hurt them too.

the next day, the space under the tree was pretty sparse. mostly just gifts for my little sisters & the ones that chris & i were giving to the family. we didn't wake up at 3am ready to pounce on our stockings. we actually got some sleep for a change and we woke up calm rather than hyper. we actually remembered the true meaning of christmas for once because we weren't distracted by all the presents we hoped for or got.

as it turned out, we got a few little stocking things each. they must have been hidden somewhere else where we hadn't discovered them. i got the fake nails that i'd been dreaming of. i'd always had crappy nails & wanted to have long, luxurious nails to tap constantly on any hard surface, but my parents had never thought i was old enough for them. this was my lucky fingernail year. and i also got the jean jacket from the gap that i'd been coveting for so many months. it was one of the things that i'd been so excited to find in the closet & was heart sick knowing it was going back to the gap to be owned by some other girl who'd be cooler than me.

i was shocked & amazed to find this most precious item wrapped up under the tree because i was sure it went back to the mall with everything else. my brother also got his most desired item. my parents told us that even though we'd broken the rules & we didn't deserve to receive these gifts, they were having mercy on us. like Jesus had mercy on the world by dying on the cross for all of us who didn't deserve his love & forgiveness.

that's a lesson that i'll never forget.

photo freak contest

there's a "best photo you've ever taken" contest going on over at photo freak's blog & i thought i'd toss my own favorite into the mix. it's nowhere near a professional level of photography, there's something about it that just pulls me into the eyes every time i look at it.

linky loo

today marks yet another first in this here blogging experience for me. i was the guest author on laffy lady's blog laugh out loud. i ran across this blog last week & was definitely entertained by her line up of funny people & now, here i am, joining in their ranks. i shared with them the story i told here recently about my last flying escapade that involved me, a flight attendant, an empty airplane & a naughty proposition.

thanks, miss laffy for the chance to hang out with your readers! i love your blog. the rest of you, go visit her if you're looking for some giggles today!

hello & welcome

today was pretty exciting for me because, for the first time, i got reviewed. tracy over at it's an average life wrote a little review of my blog & posted it to possibly direct some of her readers to my page. and she was so nice with the deliciously exaggerated things she said about my writing that i was all a-giggle for a bit this afternoon. each time since then that i've gotten a comment from a new reader it makes me all glowy & fresh again.

so for those of you who are new in my realm, here's a quick synopsis; i started writing this in january when things in my family life were at a really low point, but it quickly evolved into something that i use to cheer myself up. i have a wacky 8 yr old daughter who i can't resist writing about frequently & i'd forgotten how much i love being laughed at. i know, most people prefer to be laughed with, but i'm perfectly happy to show you my flaws & failings & let you laugh at them right alongside me.

i've put together a list of my favorite posts from the past 9 months, so if you've got a bit of time & you're interested, feel free to visit them. perhaps you'll be able to join me in laughing at myself & the funny things in life.

first we have the hair bonanza series that you can see linked on the right side of my blog.

how many ways can i expose myself (in a non-pornographic way)? oh, lots & lots of them as you can read in my self exposure trilogy.
exposing myself 1

self exposure, round 2

self exposure, the childhood years

then we have some of my favorite parenting tales.
the van potty

what to call THAT region

i give you permission

where do babies come from?

a few random things...
secretly i wish i could

i fed my kid my life

pms roller coaster

mother nature is a bitch

where did my sexy go?

art therapy   there's a second art therapy in the next post down if you'd care to see more of how we cheer ourselves up around here.

thanks to any of you who've come by for a visit. i hope to see you back here again soon! =)

one lovely blog award

today i got my first blog award from another blogger who i recently discovered. i've seen this award floating around on other people's pages from time to time & i've got to be honest, i've kind of had the impression that this whole awards & linking business was sort of a club between bloggy buddies & i've sniffed at it as if it had nothing to do with me. but then, like in school where one day you're invisible & the next day a cool kid asks you to sit at their lunch table, maybe it seems more important than it did before. or maybe it's just nice to be included in the silliness that is blogging awards.

so with no further blabbering, thank you, tracy aka: average girl at it's an average life for this first time award. i didn't prepare a speech...

in order to accept this lovely award, i'm encouraged to

1. credit & link to the person who gave it to me - that would be tracy. thanks for thinking of me. i've already gotten a new follower today thanks to you!

2. pass the award on to some other new blogs.

and
3. let the recipients know that i gave it to them.

i've chosen people who i don't think have gotten any awards yet, but deserve them for putting in the time & effort to blog so that we can peer into their hearts & souls. so please feel free to visit & enjoy...

my good friend Jana at 4timesmorefun

my mom at throwoffeverythingthathinders

my former co-worker & friend carrie at shineovershadow

a lady i've recently been reading, louisa at lifeasweknowit

my  friend, melanie from elementary school, who takes awesome pictures at room118

my friend nekey who blogs about her homeschooling adventures at thehomeonahill

and last but not least, my daughter, brooke, who blogs about the adventures in her mind at brookeswonderousworld