Saturday, February 5, 2011

nuggets of childhood

years ago, when i was looking out at my future life & the things that i expected it to hold, i saw myself with a few kids & in a neighborhood where the kids all roamed free like a pack of friendly dogs. eating lunch at this house one day or swimming in that backyard another day. i guess i imagined that it would look like my life when i was growing up. i'm one of 4 kids & our family always lived in neighborhoods where there were a lot of kids & activities.

i was homeschooled, starting in 5th grade and i had a little bit of a complex about being the weird kid since homeschooling kind of hadn't been invented yet. the average person had never heard of it and we were questioned about it frequently. along the way, we eventually met a few other homeschooled kids, but they were total freaks, in my mind. they were the kids who's mom never wore a bra and they wore tacky clothes and bad shoes. they didn't know who the popular musicians were and had never been to a movie theatre. i considered myself to be way cooler than them, even though i knew i wasn't terribly high up on the cool ladder when it came to the rest of the world.

because of this, i feel like i need to keep brooke informed about things and teach her all the stuff that kids usually learn from each other. she's my only one, there are no kids in our neighborhood and she's homeschooled. i've got a pretty tight reign on who her social contacts are, which i generally think is a good thing since i can let her wait until she's ready to learn about stuff rather than some kid showing her porn on the bus on the way to school & now she knows what intercourse is.

but i think it's fun to tell her the stupid crap that kids say to each other that generally parents tsk-tsk about, so that she won't be clueless when she runs into it down the road. stuff like "i know you are, but what am i?" or "i'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me & sticks to you." it's like i have license to return to my childhood & dig into those old ridiculous things kids say and sing, in the interest of keeping her normal. we taught her the lyrics to "on top of old smokey" and of course the "beans, beans, the musical fruit" poem.  ooo, and i just remembered another one that i need to teach her tomorrow- "great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdies' feet. great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, and me without my spoon."

i've sung her the old songs that we used when jumping rope or skipping or doing those hand clappy games. and not long ago, i taught her the classic, "there's a place in france where the naked ladies dance. there's a hole in the wall so that i can see them all."  and we can't forget the always creepy, but fun toilet ditty, "i see your hiney, so bright and shiny. you better hide it, before i bite it."

i'm sure there are plenty more that i've forgotten or somehow missed during my own childhood & i'd like to make a plea, to you, my bloggy friends, to help my child have a full and well rounded childhood. share with us your wisdom or your folly, but educate us in the ways of children everywhere so that brooke won't feel like she's missed out any of the colorful little nuggets that must be passed on to each and every child.


  1. I still have a whole stack of garbage pail kids in my dresser. 2nd edition ones at that. I wonder how much they are worth.

  2. It sounds to me that you are doing a wonderful job raising your daughter and teaching her some of the ways of the world. The most important thing that she will remember as she grows up is how much time you have spent with her:)

  3. ha, ha - I guess the homeschool kids were too uncool for school back in the day.


  4. I would love to help... but I'm a Homeschooled Weirdo. ;)

    Actually, I loved being homeschooled. My mom gave me the choice when I was in middle school, and I chose to stay home. I still learned all about the world, and social stuffs, but I also learned to be an individual and not nearly as influenced by peer pressure. It was good for me!!

    I'm sure that your daughter will appreciate your efforts even if she does go through an angsty "I'm so different" phase. :)

  5. I loved Garbage Pail Kids when I was growing up! That was a great surprise when I saw those.

    When I was a kid (fairly young) there was the "I see London, I see France, I see (fill in name here)'s underpants."

    There's another I remember from late elementary school that's probably too inappropriate, so unless you are really interested, I'll leave that one alone.

  6. When I tell my kids things we used to do as children, they just look at me like I am the crazy that I am. I had so much more freedom as a child.
    I think you are such a great mother. I wish all children were as blessed as yours...

  7. I wasn't home-schooled, and didn't home-school, so I don't know what to say. As a former teacher, I lean toward public school education. Even as a certified teacher, I would not have felt qualified to try to home school my boys.

  8. I have to admire you for doing home schooling. It takes a lot of dedication to teach math and all those other subjects.

  9. Omg! Garbage Pail kids would kind of freak me out!! Some of them were so disturbing! Haha, did you guys sing the clap song Ms. Lucy it went something like, Ms. Lucy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell..(I looked it up and found the whole thing, it was fun to remember)
    Or the jump rope songs like, "Cinderalla dressed in yella..
    My sister love to talk about our Snoopy Snow Cone Maker and our weird barbie toys
    Fun memories

  10. just to be clear, i haven't given brooke any garbage pail kids. i was just trying to find a pic to go with this post & pics of garbage pail kids popped up & this one seemed perfect since it's name is brooke.
    homeschooling is definitely not for everybody. some days i don't even think it's for me, but it's not about me, it's about brooke, so i keep on chugging.
    and she doesn't feel like a homeschooled weirdo at all, i guess it's just my own complex that i imagine could be hers too if i don't help her learn the ways of the world in time. it probably helps that half the kids she knows are also homeschooled.

  11. I found school so unbearably boring, from the beginning all the way to the university end that there's no way I'd be able to be a homeschool teacher. I'd be yawning until the tears ran down my face, and keep taking breaks to go check out facebook.
    I think I could teach highschool English and not pass out, and that's about it.

  12. I notice that comment posters aren't giving you childhood sayings/songs. Probably b/c they're too mature. I, however, am a font of juvenile knowledge! But I'm not sure how enriching it will be for Brooke to know the "Diarrhea" song:

    When you're sliding into first
    And your pants begin to burst
    That's diarrhea, diarrhea

    When you're sliding into two
    And your pants are filled with goo
    That's diarrhea, diarrhea

    When you're sliding into third
    And you feel a greasy turd
    That's diarrhea, diarrhea

    When you're sliding into home
    And your pants are filled with foam
    That's diarrhea, diarrhea

    Sorry Sherilin, you asked!

  13. Hey Sherilin, my sister wants to homeschool her kids and I may be asking you for some advice in the future, she says that where she lives that there are tons of moms that do it and they all work together and share the work and responsibility so the kids can be with eachother and have different teachers, lessons, etc. Have you tried to find something like a network in your area?

  14. My personal favorite was the hand clapping thing with 3 other friends to Rockin' Robin...and I'll never forget Miss Mary Mack. Or Mash. Or Cootie Catchers...which I've introduced to my other kids!

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  16. Liar, liar, pants on fire,
    got too close to a telephone wire!

    Happy birthday to you,
    You live in a zoo.
    You look like a monkey
    And you smell like one too!

    Him dummy
    Him crawl on him tummy
    Ain't got no head
    Ain't got no bummy
    Him dummy

    Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie,
    Who's not ready holler I!

    On top of spaghetti
    All covered with cheese
    I dropped my poor meatball
    When somebody sneezed.
    It rolled off the table
    And onto the floor,
    The next time I saw it
    It rolled out the door.

  17. And I want to offer up a big enthusiastic word of encouragement to all you moms who believe it's possible that homeschooling your child might just be the best possible choice. Like Sherilin said, it's definitely not for everyone, but for those kids who need it there is no better way! Kudos to all the teachers in public schools who pour their hearts into educating children! And kudos to the moms who sacrifice their personal comforts to do a job that is generally thankless and harder than they ever imagined, but they are motivated by love and will stop at nothing to meet the needs of their child!

  18. This cracks me up!!

    You know I had to wait and check out all the words of wisdom. As a homeschool parent, I need these tid-bits, as well.

    I have a boy so it may not be all that necessary... everyone has to learn to "fart" with their armpit.

    Every now and then ya gotta remind them what a "swirly" is.


don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!