Wednesday, March 16, 2011

if we woke up in jail...

remember when we had so much fun doing the "how did we meet" post? you guys were awesome participants and made it such fun, at least for me. well, i've got another silly facebook game that i want to play with you guys because i know you're way more creative than most of my facebook friends.

here's the deal, i want you to tell me, in 5 words or less, what you would say to me tomorrow morning if we woke up in a jail cell together. be elaborately simple or bizarre and outlandish. feel free to feed me as many lines as you can think up, my friends, i'm ready.


  1. "You again? Stop stalking me!"

    Officer, she ate your sandwich!

    Next time... remember your underwear!

    Did you proposition another cop?

  2. Well. . . It was worth it!

    That did not end well!

  3. I told you Charlie's trouble.
    Hey, look, isn't that Lindsey?
    Me, you, circus monkeys=trouble.
    Like nobody's ever flashed nuns?
    Hey, where's my pants?
    Hey, where's your pants?
    Guard's a screw!
    Public nudity. Is that bad?
    Skinhead rally. Bad idea.
    Is that you, Senator?

    I'd write more, but I'm going to bed.

  4. tracy, i'll try to stop stalking you. i was hugry, and my undies got... lost? and yes, i did proposition him, if by proposition you mean offer to give his sandwich back if he'd give me a ride on his motorcycle.

    amby, i think it was worth it too. though it didn't end well. next time, we'll wear masks.

    al, charlie & lindsay are regulars, see they carved their names into the cinderblock wall.
    but the monkeys are soooo fun! those nuns have no sense of humor. and look, i'm wearing your pants and you're wearing mine! jeggings look good on you. i thought public nudity was only frowned upon before 11pm. damn. and those senators do a skinhead rally like nobody's business!

  5. Woo Hoo! You sure know how to show a girl a good time!

  6. F***k, I knew those cookies tasted too good.

  7. I didn't think they allowed men in a women's prison, so things are about to get really fun, or really weird. Maybe both.

  8. david, it's so inconsiderate for them to make me wear orange. it totally clashes with my hair.

    karen, i thought you had the dirt! where'd we put that?

    thanks, eva, i try. i hope it won't go on your record. you know, three strikes and all...

    rosie, you can have them back now. sorry if they smell like watermelon. there was this thing with this hummingbird and then... oh, nevermind. i guess ya had to be there.

    melissa, can you whip up another batch? i didn't get any!

  9. dbs and beerforshowerdude, they're trying out something new by putting certain dudes in with the women. i wonder what that says about you guys.

  10. laughingmom, i doubt it. i'm pretty sure we finished those things off, right down to the bone marrow. chickens are delicious.

    oilfield, it totally does. they should really provide us with some form of cushion to sit on in here rather than just concrete.

  11. Simple ...

    "Your hands in-ma pants lady!"

  12. Should've left our clothes on.

  13. Why's everyone else speaking Spanish?

  14. lazarus, if you'd only drank the goat milk straight from the teet rather than killing it & eating it, they probably wouldn't have gotten you on that poaching charge.

    symdaddy, i've got to be honest, i have no idea what to say here...

    littlesprite, lmao! i've always wanted to wear lederhosen! did we steal it from those short singing men? i can't remember.

    carrie, once again, i'm reminded that it's not legal to disrobe publicly, even after 11pm. now i know.

    ant, not doing so good. my rump is sore from sitting on this concrete for so many hours. ow you doin?

    nari, supongo que no debería haber tratado de mula estas drogas en la frontera. las cárceles mexicanas son lo peor!

  15. Bwahahahaha...I knew we were in Mexico!

  16. I think I 'm your mother.

    Pretend you don't know me.

    I see Dead Peee.ple.

  17. Oooohhhhh, they took my shoelaces.

    Let's make wine in the toilet.

    If the glove doesn't fit...

  18. kipp, it may have been all my fault, but it was all your idea! if only that invisibility spray had really worked.

    nari, of course!

    wendy, hi mom. i can't pretend i don't know you after only just now finding you. let's snuggle & you can braid my hair. i'll close my eyes so i don't see the dead people too.

    ruth, i lol'ed about the wine in the toilet! haha! yay for drinking in jail, even if we don't have shoelaces.


don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!