Saturday, April 23, 2011


i suspect at times that maybe i'm a little bit odd. i know, you guys all want to reassure me that i'm perfectly normal. and i love you for that, even though we both know it's not true.

tonight i poured myself some milk in a cup that i won at a new york state fair when i was in 8th grade. it's a plastic mug with a picture of the california raisins on it, though, to be honest, there's really no picture left. just a couple scraps of paint that resemble nothing anymore.

what it kind of looked like originally

what mine looks like today

and in thinking about my grubby old mug, it led me to thoughts of brooke's veggie tales mug. i wonder if she'll have it when she's married & in her 30's. and i wonder if she'll pour her kids a veggie tales mug of coffee some days, like i do for her now.

 i clean the litter pan almost every day. except it's almost never day when i do it. it's almost always about 2am when i clean it. and i ask myself why the hell i'm cleaning the stink box in the middle of the night & tell myself that tomorrow i'll do it differently, but i never do.

most nights i make multiple trips to the windows in the back of the house to check for raccoons. because i feed them on my deck (shut up, i know i shouldn't feed wildlife) & they're my furry little buddies even though i'm not stupid enough to actually go near them. i just play patty cake with them through the glass on the back door. i'm pretty sure they love me.

i let brooke take her stuffed animals into the bath with her. some days she gives them just the standard grooming treatment, other days they get the special treatment that includes every liquid soap, shampoo, acne wash or conditioner within reach of the tub.

i like to sit in my backyard on the deck steps & use the ped-egg on my feet. i was doing that the other day when my landlord on the other side of our duplex came out & looked at me really funny & asked me what i was doing. and at the time, it didn't even seem strange to me that i had one foot hiked up & was grinding it down with a series of blades while a steady snow shower fell all around me. he should thank me for doing it outside where the snow & blood don't end up in the carpet.

to me, reading a fun book during daylight hours feels positively decadent. i feel like the ultimate lady of leisure when i drape myself across my bed or the couch & read without even needing a light turned on because clearly i am shirking all my responsibilities in the light of day when others could see me.

a friend of mine came over with her 3 little girls a couple weeks ago. her 2 yr old is about the most edible delight of a child that i've ever known, so i was holding her on my lap & squeezing her little chubby self. that's when i noticed that her fingernails were pretty long. so i just snatched up my handy dandy pair of nail clippers that are rarely out of reach of my body and proceeded to clip that baby's nails. it wasn't until it was done & they went home that i wondered if maybe her mama thought i was weird to be giving her toddler a quick pedicure before dinner.

i would love it if you guys would share your own weirdness with me. i know you all have some. i bet you're thinking of it right now. go ahead, type it in the box. i've got to go, i think i hear a raccoon chewing.


  1. Hi, stopping by from the Lady Bloggers Tea party. I got a giggle from your post, especially the ped egg thing. Nothing about using a ped egg looks graceful or pretty! My hub makes fun of me when I do things like that, too. Great blog, I'll be back :)

  2. Can you come over and clip my toddler's nails because he hates when I do it!

    Love your weirdness. I don't know if this is weird but I cannot stand wet hair. After I wash mine, I have to blow dry it IMMEDIATELY. It drives me nuts otherwise.

  3. Ok, here's one that is a bit odd. I will go days without completely getting dressed.
    If I have nowhere to go and I'm stuck in the house I just wear my comfy clothes all day.

  4. Let's see....I love cold pizza for breakfast. I've been known to speak to hubby in rhyme, just because I can. That's all I have right now, but I'm sure there's more!

  5. I don't like to go to sleep with the closet door open.

    When I eat I have to have my food ratio just right. meaning the correct amount of vegies to go with my meat that I've cut up. If the ratio is out then I'm not happy. Hubby thinks I'm weird that I cut all my food before I start eating.

    I don't like people touching me when I have my hands up over my head.

    A bat once threw a mango at me. (it's true!)

    I love vegemite on toast dipped in coffee for breakfast.

    And the list goes on and on and on.....

  6. OMG, I just typed a whole thing of my weirdness, and ended up somehow deleting the whole thing.

    So I will leave you with a smattering, because I am too tired to think of what I wrote.

    I fall asleep in the bathtub, pretrty much every time. I usually eat peanut butter cups in the tub. And I can only sleep with one foot out from under the covers.

    I like your funny weird-isms. :)

  7. I've been known to lean against a wall and rest my arms on top of my head. Other people can't figure out how this is comfortable for me.

    I have long animated discussions with people who are not present. I've done this in public places. When people look at me strangely (as they invariably do), I tell them I'm going over my lines for a student-written play.

    If I spill coffee onto my hands, I'll wipe it dry but then spend the entire rest of the day with my hands on or near my nose. If someone's breath smells like coffee, I'll recoil.

    I could be dressed in high heels and a power suit and carrying a briefcase and if I see a gathering of pigeons, I will charge at them like a child until they disperse. Having accomplished my mission, I will continue down the street undeterred while my companions look at me like "was that necessary?"

    Stopping in from the LBS tea party!

  8. I talk to my cat and dogs like they are going to answer.

    I know there are more but for the life of me I can't think of them. I am weird in a lot of ways. Enjoyed reading about your weirdness.

  9. I have been wearing the same clothes for two days. Only because I had the weekend off. That's kinda weird. (and gross)

  10. I don't know what to do with my arms when I am sitting. Unless my hands are busy, which I prefer as much as possible, my arms feel like strange alien appendages that have nowhere to go without being awkward and uncomfortable.

    I feel bad if I accidentally chop a worm in half when I'm digging a hole to plant something. Sometimes I apologize to the worm and carefully place both pieces in a safe worm friendly place where I would have otherwise put the whole worm if I had found it intact.

    I absolutely hate having clothing touching the back of my neck. Winter is the pits because of the constant annoyance of dealing with coats that refuse to stay off my neck.

    Gotta have a body pillow to sleep. Poor hubby. He calls it our bundling board.

    If I leave the house without earrings I will turn around and go back home to get them. Being without earrings for me is like being without a body part.

  11. Ped Egg: The Foot's little Cheese maker. I am trying to ponder my weirdness, but all I can think about now is how the skin bits in my Ped Egg remind me of cheese. That's not weird. Not at all *crazy eyes.*

  12. amanda, you're right, there's nothing at all attractive about doing that ped-egg, but the results are well worth the contortions & lack of sexy.
    alison, i would totally clip your kid's nails. just bring him over & i'll do that while you dry your hair.
    ruth, i do the same thing. clothes are over-rated.
    eva, i like the speaking in rhyme business. i'm not quick enough to do it off the top of my head, but it makes me giggle.
    sprite, you don't like to be touched when your arms are over your head? are you afraid they'll tickle? and i think you should expand on the topic of the mango throwing winged rodent.
    jessica, i usually have to keep one foot out too because otherwise they get claustrophobic & i thrash violently.
    classic ny, i love that you chase pigeons! i would love to scare some with you, but then can we go somewhere & chase some ducks? cuz that's fun too to see them waddle really fast & angrily.
    nekey, you mean they don't answer? do you do their voices so that it can be a two sided conversation?
    carrie, i think that's totally reasonable. if you're not seeing the same people & they're not stinky, you're being green & saving yourself the time & effort of washing them or picking new ones.
    mom, oh mom, you make me laugh. i can totally picture you with your wacky shoulder appendages flopping around in your lap because you don't know what to do with them. and you've passed your earring obsession on to me. i won't go back home for them, but i'll pluck at my ears in a worried fashion all day & fret about it.
    dawn, you don't feel the urge to eat the foot cheese, do you? or sprinkle it on something to add cheesy goodness?

    you guys are a bunch of WEIRDOS!

  13. My goodness, you're not weird!! Now, if you took your Pet Egg shavings and made soup, that'd be weird.
    On the other hand.....

  14. I meant "Ped" Egg. I got so excited over soup, I lost my mind.
    Can you help me find it?

  15. I hate the way bare wood feels under my feet. I refuse to go on the back porch without shoes or flip flops on, but if I'm washing the deck It's not so bad.

    I can't eat peaches unless they have been peeled. The fuzz makes me gag when it touches my teeth.

    even if I don't make the bed in the morning, I have to make it before I go to sleep. The bottom of the top sheet has to be tucked in just right, my pillows must be set just right and my extra blanket (the husband calls my lovie) has to be on the bed in a way that it lines up perfectly with the bedspread. He likes to mess with me and mess up my side of the bed and I have to get up and start all over.

    I have to have about 6oz of coke before I go to bed, the drink not the powdered stuff. I can't sleep without it. Maybe thats why I have the insomnia? One will never know.

  16. I cannot stand when the sheet comes up higher than the actual blanket. I have been known to rip the covers off our bed at 2 am and "fix" them! Hey, we all have our quirks right?

  17. Stopping by (un-fashionably late) from the LBS Tea Party. I love your writing/living style--it says a lot about who you are; and you're someone I want to follow!
    As for weirdness, way to much to list (or think about) but here's a taste--I have a proof reader's eye and can't stand it when I'm reading and come across a typo, ruins my concentration; I'm teaching my dog English, right now he knows lots of food words: steak, tri-tip, ribs, chicken, shoes, squirrel; I think I need to get out more.

  18. al, it kind of looks like the parmesan cheese you buy in a store. want me to save some for your soup & mail it to you? since you get so excited about it...
    rosie, i take issue with furry food too. makes me shiver, but in the bad way. and i'm betting that your coke (the drink, not the powder) is the problem for your sleeping. though, in fairness, the powder would probably be a problem too.
    leslie, that's funny. because that pesky sheet is more disruptive to your sleep than getting up & rearranging the covers, isn't it?
    ann, welcome & i love late comers. they spread out the fun like belated birthday cards. i'm afraid if you're a proof reader, you may not love my blog since i always write in lower case. though i do make a concentrated effort to spell & punctuate correctly. and i think it's fun that you included shoes in your list of food words. cuz most people teach their dogs NOT to eat the shoes.

  19. I'm distracted from pinning down my weirdness by two things: first, the PEDI EGG! AAAACK! ACCCK! NO MORE REFERENCES TO YOUR PEDI EGG!!! Second: get rid of that mug!!!!! They probably made that back in the days of all the toxic crap you could possibly imagine passing itself off as plastic. BPA, anyone??? Store your raccoon food in it for freak's sake.

  20. I'd have been THRILLED if you'd clipped my babies' nails, because I was completely terrified after snipping Ella's little finger.

  21. lmao, karen, i could use it as a scooper for bird food. the little bucket i've been using it a big large. i would clip ella's nails if you wanted. just bring her on over! i'll provide jack with some drawing materials and you with some coffee while i give your kid a mani. and maybe a pedi with my special egg...

  22. In My Professinal Opinion... You are Weird! lol
    I also Suffer from this! I am up and down all night doing things; feeding the squirrels, cleaning the litter box, dusting under my dryer, making sure all the blinds are turned the exact same way, etc. I knew I loved you, but this just seals the deal!

  23. I have a coke (liquid not powder) problem... is there a support group for that?

  24. You are a weirdo, that's why you're so wonderful. My weird quirkiness: I don't like ice to touch my upper lip, so I will hang my finger over the top of a glass if I don't have a straw.

  25. Oh wow.. I could so write a novel about Amy weirdness.

    If I have a carbonated drink, I have to blow on it before I take a drink.

    My clothes have to be hung in a certain order.

    My unused hangers have to hang (they hang above my washer and dryer) according to color.

    ... just to name a few.

  26. weird=wonderful! This cracks me up. Aren't we all weirdos? I think so.....I am sure that I will be coming up with a list in my head tonight as I obsess over how I can rearrange my living room, clip my cuticles so I don't bite them and brush my teeth so I don't eat ice cream. ;)

  27. oh, I have lots of posts to read. You're writing, and I have neglected you! I swear, you'll be up on my computer all day, waiting for me to find little breaks. ...let's hope!

    HOw are you?

  28. Sorry, not a weird thing about cha !! WE all do things that each of us thinks that no one else does. But we're wrong. I once posted that I like to blow my nose in my hands while in the shower. You'd be (or maybe not be)surprised at all the comments I got saying they did it too.

    Stopping by from LBS

  29. Weirdness, obsessive, manic, these are words my own sister's use to describe me, nice huh. I have no pinkie toe nails because I rip them off as soon as they are long enough to do so. I too hate the feeling of clothing on my neck. If I have not showered in the morning, it absolutely drives me nuts to put on clean clothes. I have been known to throw on a sweatshirt and jacket rather than put on a bra. I could go on....but I have told more than enough.


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