Sunday, June 19, 2011

sperm donation for father's day

i don't usually like to write a post that follows perfectly with whatever holiday we're sitting on, but this is a story that seems to be perfect for father's day. i've been thinking about writing it for ages & it finally seems like the right time.
this was us during the time this story took place.

when chris & i had been married for about 2 years we sort of decided that we were ready for kids. and by that i mean, i was frantically craving babies and he was thinking about how he liked the way our life was, but was willing to consider that maybe a baby wouldn't ruin everything. we "tried" for a few months with no offspringy results, so i went to see a doctor to see if there was something wrong with my girly bits.

as it turned out, there were some problems in me, but the doc thought we could overcome them with drugs. that didn't end up working, but before they would take the next step with me it was decided by the medical powers that be that chris needed to go through some testing of his own.

most of you probably have a mental picture of how that goes for men from seeing movies or sitcoms where some guy goes to a sperm bank donation center and provides his deposit after viewing some choice pictures or videos in a little sterile room.

that was not what happened.

we were told that they provide an easier way for the men to "deposit" by allowing a sterile cup to be taken home, filled up and returned to the clinic within 30 minutes of filling. that sounds nice, but we lived a minimum of 30 minutes from the clinic & that was barring any traffic delays. and if it took longer than 30, the process would have had to be repeated with a new cup.

we thought about that for a time, trying to figure out a way for chris to be able to do his duty and still get the cup to the clinic on time. hmmm... we had no friends who lived closer to the clinic (plus, that might be a bit much to ask of a friend). maybe we could drive part way there and pull over on the side of the highway for a car quickie. but that might contaminate the specimen as well as get us arrested. we could attempt to collect the deposit in the back of the parking lot right before our appointment time, but that didn't sound like a good plan because again, there was the risk of getting caught by security when doing such things in a public location. and i'm sure that my giggling at the situation would have been a "downer" which would not have been a good thing in that situation.

the appointment was at 8am, which is truly a stupid time for such an appointment. i mean, what man is feeling spermy and deposity at that hour of the morning? we finally decided that we would need to drive to the clinic a little bit earlier than our appointment, go into the building & find a bathroom where we could take care of business & still get the cup turned in on time.

we arrived and found a bathroom, but it was right in the lobby of this medical building. and there was no family/handicap bathroom into which we could go together in order to make it a team effort at collecting the juice of fate. so into the men's room he went, with a look of grim determination on his face. he was going to have to go it alone. no wife. no pictures. no videos. no sexy nurses. just a public bathroom stall. at 7:45am.

i waited outside the bathroom for about 20 minutes. i paced and wrung my hands, glad that there weren't many people around to give me the hairy eyeball for loitering outside the men's room.

he finally came out & plopped the little cup into my hand, lid screwed on tight. i stared at that wad as if my fate lay within it. i was trying to be like a fortune teller with tea leaves, but i was a sperm reader with a plastic cup. i checked it out from different angles, held it up to the light & then stuffed into my purse and headed for the office door where we would turn in our offering and then wait a few days, hoping for good news.

the news, in the end, was really bad. they said that with our combined issues, we had about a zero percent chance of conceiving the old fashioned way & would need to go straight to in-vitro and even then the odds weren't in our favor. we didn't have the money for such things. so i started reading about ways to naturally increase your fertility with no drugs or doctors & low & behold, it worked. we've only got the one, but she's a good one and she came about the old fashioned way after all. it took about a year of careful observation of cycles and days where booty duty was a high priority even if we weren't in the mood. but the end result was worth it.


and that is my father's day story.

28 comments:

  1. I always thought lots of men were feeling "spermy" in the morning...isn't there a name for that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. so happy you have that sweet bundle of joy

    melissa

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a great story you have to tell her when she's older! lol
    She's a cutie and her Dad looks so proud. I'm happy for you that the efforts proved fertile. (pun intended!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great story! And good for you doing the research and making discoveries! This is a great story for others who don't have the funds for all the medical intervention!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Juice of Fate?! Where do you come up with these things?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Kathy I think it's called a "morning glory".
    I get poked in the back almost every morning. Not that I'm complaining ;)

    Glad natural worked for you guys. Sadly it won't for us.

    ReplyDelete
  7. haha, Happy Father's Day to him! and your story is great... 7.45am, alone, in a men's room, bless his heart! : )
    hope he's returned from his trip/kidnapping. hope you guys are settling in okay up there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. "booty duty" thats the best way to put it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hmmm, I thought the morning and spermy feeling kinda went together.
    I don't know why doctors keep telling people they don't have a shot of having a baby.
    I have a cousin and a friend that were both told they'd never have kids and they each have one.
    Nice pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  10. let me rephrase that statement about spermy not being a typical morning feeling. i just meant that on command & under those circumstances for someone who's only had a couple hours of sleep, it wasn't the ideal situation.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'd like to write a comment but they all just seem to inappropriate....
    Glad it all worked out for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That is such a cute story. Brook looks exactly like Brook too! And if you ever need to get sperm in on time, and my house is close by, please ask. I would love to help! :P

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think men feel generally 'spermy' all the time, don't they? Or maybe not during UFC. Anyhow, that was a nice story, and a really cute pic of your beebee, but I'm dying to know all the natural stuff you did, because that's super interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I like hearing about it working the old fashioned way. A great father's day story.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Feeling spermy? Interesting expression, I thought all guys were raring to go at 8 am, I once read guys think about sex like every 15 seconds no?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Awwwe - so cool that it happened in the end - YAY!

    Hope you're doing well - feels like I haven't chatted in foreva :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow... when I see your husband in pictures now, I can't help but think of him in the public restroom doing his biz.
    ;)

    Hey!! I still have an email draft for you with a reply! lol I just have been too busy to finish it. Yeah, I'm a real pal, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  18. What a funny and cute story! I am so glad to hear that you were sucessful after trying natural methods, very, very cool!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I had to provide a donation twice. The first time was in a doctor's office (he was NOT in the same room). I wasn't provided any "revving up" material, so to speak. I just had to use my imagination. I had fun with it (besides the fact that I enjoyed my act being officially sanctioned. I had no such luck as a teenager). Just before I walked out, I splashed water all over my face. The looks on the staff's faces were priceless.
    The 2nd time was when I was at sea (it was a short trip-I was home in a couple days). I finished my watch and announced to the folks in the Combat Direction Center that I was going to go "shake hands with my favorite person." I walked down to Medical, procured a cup (of course I insisted I needed a jug. I think they heard that before, though, because they didn't laugh). Then I walked to my stateroom, where I told my roommate to take off. When he complained, I told him what I was going to do. He took off like the roadrunner. Of course, since I was on a ship at sea, I had plenty of "revving up" stuff. Once more, I splashed water on my face, but this time I wet my hands too. Before going back to my office to shake hands with people. The looks on THEIR faces after I told them what I did were equally priceless.
    Fun. And now I have two kids. And, even though I was neutered years ago, I still offer to give out samples. Nobody ever takes me up on my offer.

    ReplyDelete
  20. now THAT is a fathers day story like no other.
    booty duty...that made me giggle.
    I imagine infertility issues would be very heart breaking for those experiencing it.
    My best friends daughter is goint through it right now, and it breaks our hearts as she wants a baby so badly.
    I am SO happy yours had a happy ending.

    ReplyDelete
  21. awwww I soooo remember the booty duty!! I am so glad you guys were blessed naturally, even tho it took some time, great things come to those who wait! Love the pic, Chris looks handsome in a tux and you are just mahvalous dahling!!! (as always) and yes I do know what this pic is from because I handmade that boutonniere =)

    ReplyDelete
  22. LOL I always thought that BD on fertility charts stood for baby dance. Booty duty sounds good too.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Momsoon Infertility & I.V.F. ICSI Centre gives the solution for infertility. Momsoon Infertility has an advanced IVF and Embryo Laboratory.

    Sperm Bank Centre

    ReplyDelete
  24. Welcome to Momsoonivf sperm bank centre. The Bridge Centre is one of the India’s leading fertility, gynecology, genetics and IVF clinics. Our team can diagnose the causes of infertility, as well as support couples and individuals to overcome difficulties with conception through IVF and other fertility treatments. Our success rates from IVF and other fertility treatments are among the best in the country.
    Sperm Bank Centre

    ReplyDelete

don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!