split personality

the clothes we wear represent us. when we put things on, if they "feel like" us, we're comfortable. if they don't "feel like" us, we feel awkward. never mind if the actual garments are comfortable or not. what we wear, to a large degree, shows the people around us who we are.

i think that cars are largely the same way. people drive cars that feel like them. we all have preconceived ideas about what kind of person drives a certain kind of car.

we own a mini van, semi-affectionately known as vanny, that's  15 years old. it's a box on wheels with a broken side door handle and lots of dirt. i don't love vanny, but i'm grateful for her transportation even though she shrieks loudly whenever she's running and vibrates quite noticeably when we get above 45 mph.

i don't feel like vanny fits me. i'm slightly embarrassed by her, though i try really hard not to be. she makes me feel poor and vaguely trashy. like i should be handing out generic soda's and happy meals while yelling and back-handing a van full of dirty, snotty, whining children who are wearing too short pants and no seat belts.

sometimes i drive my mother in law's car for small errands close to home. she has a lincoln town car. it drives very nicely and i surely appreciate the chance to be able to go to the library or grocery store when chris is at work, but i feel awkward when i drive it. like i'm a little old lady, surrounded by 8 feet of nose and 6 feet of tail, driving at a sedate pace with the radio off and never letting anyone get in front of me in traffic. i feel like i should drive slowly in the fast lane and perhaps don a rain bonnet to keep my perm tidy in case of rain. when's the last time you saw anyone who couldn't qualify for a senior citizen's discount driving one of these babies?

this week we've been staying at my sister and her fiancee's house while they're traveling so that we can take care of their two big dogs. they left my almost-brother-in-law's lovely mustang here with the key in case i needed to go somewhere. brooke and i took it out to a playdate a couple days ago and it was rather amusing to me to drive it. it's very loud and roars when you give it even a little gas and the bass is cranked up so high, there's no way the cars around us can't hear us booming when we're at a traffic light. generally i don't see a lot of women driving muscle cars, so i'm not quite sure what stereotype i should fit into here. i googled "girls who drive mustangs" and i got a bunch of mini-skirted, bikini clad, darkly tanned young hot bods. none of them were short, chubby moms with a tweenaged daughter peeking out the back window, giggling about her mom driving a sports car.

i feel like i've got a split vehicular personality these days and none of them fit me. i look forward to the day when i can once again drive a car that represents me as me, and not just the wheels i'm able to get my hands on. i think if i could pick any car at all, i'd probably go with something like this.