Saturday, February 4, 2012

self improvement in 2012

i used to hear people say things around new years like "well last year was a really bad year. i hope next year will be better." and i never really grasped the concept of a "bad year" until a couple years ago. right as we rang in 2010, one of our cars died. never to be resuscitated. i thought it would be only a brief foray into being a single car family, but here we are more than 2 years later still with only our vanny to share.


right after the car died, chris developed auto immune disease and lost the hearing in one of his ears and found out that he was pre-diabetic, so it seemed like everything for him changed all of a sudden. and as his life changed, so did mine, but it certainly didn't feel like it was for the better.

so 2010 was a rotten year of learning to adjust to new norms. i hated all of them. i was so glad when 2010 was over and i was hopeful that 2011 would be better. however, as the year progressed, chris' health got even worse and brooke was doing badly with school which, as a homeschooling mom, left me feeling extremely frustrated and often helpless and stuck. but in june, we packed up and moved all of a sudden. we left behind a few friends, but for the most part, our lives there had been feeling like we were at a dead-end for a while and we desperately needed something to change.

we moved in with the in-laws and have worked our way through some adjustments. it's hard to live with other people, but chris' health has improved quite a bit and that's worth a lot to me. but i've been feeling stuck here too. it's time to stop just being as i've always been. stop living my life simply in reaction to the needs of the people around me.

2012 is going to be my year of self improvement. i stopped swearing. i've got tons of will power when it comes to decisions i'm really ready to make, so that hasn't been too hard.

i've started volunteering with a group that's associated with my church to provide clothing to people who are too poor to purchase clothes. brooke's going with me each time i work too, so i'm setting a good example for her of learning to take care of other people even if they're not technically our responsibility.

i got to the dermatologist and my skin is loving the new products i'm using. for the first time in over a year, i've been able to spend days without makeup covering my face just to make me presentable.

a couple weeks ago, something happened to a family member and it was life changing for me. it's not my story to share publicly, so i won't, but it made me desperate for answers from a supernatural source because there were no good answers to be found in the world around me. so i dug into my bible like i haven't done in far too long. and i opened back up a relationship with Jesus that i have neglected. that's definitely an improvement in my life.

my sister sarah asked me to be in her wedding in august. of course i'm happy to do so, and it gave me exactly the kick in the pants that i needed to start getting in shape. i've dropped most of the bad foods and added in many healthy ones. i've started exercising every day and already, in just 3 weeks, i've lost 10 lbs. i've also started eating barley powder again, but that's a story for another post.

all in all, i can feel my life shifting in a much more positive direction. i've never been one who's always looking for ways to change and improve myself and clearly, that's why so many things have been wrong for so long. but this is a new year and today is a new day.

and by august, i'll be ready to wear whatever dress sarah decides to put me in. here's the picture she sent me today as a possible option for the wedding party. won't we look awesome?
 

28 comments:

  1. Girl! You are really on a roll in the right direction. Seriously I admire you for the changes you've made and for rediscovering your truest inspiration of all. I hope you will keep us posted. I'm a lot older than you so if you need a mom voice, just holler.

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    1. well thank you, sandra. i'm sure i'll keep things updated here about my life changes.

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  2. 2010 does sound like a seriously rough year but like Sandra says you've made some amazing changes and now things are much better and it's great to hear. I love the wedding look you guys have planned too, here's hoping 2012 is a good year for you all!

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    1. thanks! it can only be a good year now.

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  3. You are doing awesome!
    You'll look great in that dress ;)

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  4. Been missing your posts... now I see what you have been doing.
    Good for you for being on this mission. After you have been on this new journey for awhile, you wonder why this outlook didn't come sooner.

    10 pounds? You go, girl!

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    1. i've been wanting to post, but for a couple weeks, everything was too painful for me to write anything that wasn't filled with angst and trauma. now i'm ready to just move on.
      10 lbs feels great, but i'm ready to be down about 40 or 50.

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  5. Definitely awesome! Good for you for making improvements; just don't lose your sense of humor with those pounds!

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    1. eva, i could never lose my sense of humor for long. it keeps me alive and sane.

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  6. Bravo for you!!! You will look AWESOME in that peach number!

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    1. i really like the "swimmy" things and the sleeping bag trains. it'll give us so many options for partying afterwards. =)

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  7. oh yeah. As if she sent that as one of the dress choices. That would be WICKED.

    I only swear A) IN MY HEAD, and b) in my car when I'm alone. Oh, I love the swearing. Delicious, scrumptious swear words. I trade food for swears. However, I don't say them in front of the kids, except for the bible swears. Ironic that we're friends now, isn't it. I am bad for those. There was even a small, tense time the kids were breaking out some g*ddamns at Nana's. And all that blame could be traced back directly to me. Yeah, it's my secret shame. Oh, and I can't part with "sh*t". I need SOMETHING, people.

    Wait...I've lost my direction.

    I think it's awesome that you're doing this. I don't think diets are awesome, per se, but moving out of any kind of a rut is very, very uplifting. Feeling better about ourselves is also uplifting. And damn, but there is no better feeling than the feeling of our own pants becoming looser. Sorry. It's shallow and silly and stupid, but it's a good one.

    I had horrendous skin after Jack was born! Really super zit. I had a zit so big RIGHT BESIDE MY inner EYE when we went to The Man's friend's wedding, that it distorted the whole look of my face. Yeah. Been there.

    You're awesome Sherilin. You'll do it.

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    1. look at my facebook wall and you'll see that sarah did indeed send me that picture as a wonderful dress option. the comments are the best part though. and if you look further back on my wall, some time in jan, you'll see the first dress option she picked for me. it's huge & fluffy and purple. she makes me laugh.
      i've had a zit between my eyebrows once that was so big, it prevented me from making any normal facial expressions with my eyes. like i'd just had the worst botox ever.
      i love swearing too, but it was time to make some adjustments. maybe one day i'll be a less offensive human.

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  8. I'm proud of you. And that about covers it.

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    1. thanks, ma. i'm proud of you too. you're such a good example for so many people.

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  9. seems i may be in a wedding in the near future too- or a year...even more incentive to get in shape...thinking my bro's found the one for him and that makes me happy on many levels. I'm sorry life has been poo poo to you- i understand the kinks and knocks and they stink... a lot. baby steps to make them better...here if u need an ear. kudos to u on the 10 lbs...and much love my friend. much much love.

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    1. thanks, stace. i appreciate that. and how cool that your brother found his special someone.

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  10. Well I hope you've got some furry boots to wear with those awesome dresses! ;)
    Good for you with what you've accomplished so far! I firmly believe that you just can't make changes physically until that decision is made mentally--& ten pounds in three weeks just from healthy changes? Impressive.
    Here's to a shiny new, fabulous 2012. Don't lose sight of taking care of you :)

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    1. furry boots would definitely add something special to those ensembles.
      and i agree, if you're not mentally ready, you're setting yourself up for failure.

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  11. Awesome, Sher. Ten lbs down is amazing! I might be motivated to get back in shape after I get into some sort of routine with the new kiddo. 2012 is a great year for great things. I just know it!

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    1. i hope your newbie will learn to sleep soon so you can get some rest & back onto a schedule of some sort.

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  12. ha ha...seriously THOSE DRESSES. Yikes.
    I have been on a weight loss journey too....I've only dropped 5 though in 3 weeks...but I'll keep at it. As you get older your metabolism really slows down.

    You have set some really good goals for yourself!!!! It feels good I think to know we are accomplishing things, just have to start somewhere.

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    1. 5 lbs in 3 weeks is great! it all takes time. and you are so right about getting older making it harder to lose weight.

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  13. Well, I'm glad that you're feeling things are looking up for you now! Those dresses - they look like something from my big fat gypsy wedding (on tlc, I'm addicted) hahaha.

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    1. ooo, i haven't seen my big fat gypsy wedding. if they dress like that pic, then i'm sure it's deliciously tacky and entertaining.

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  14. It sounds as if you're making some positive changes in your life but those dresses! Aack! Please tell me it's just your sister's sense of humour! I hate to see you looking like a half melted creamsicle!

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    1. it's definitely my sister's sense of humor. she's got a dry, subtle humor thing going. she said she was partial to the sleeping bag train extensions and the bare midriff on the one.

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