i used to hear people say things around new years like "well last year was a really bad year. i hope next year will be better." and i never really grasped the concept of a "bad year" until a couple years ago. right as we rang in 2010, one of our cars died. never to be resuscitated. i thought it would be only a brief foray into being a single car family, but here we are more than 2 years later still with only our vanny to share.
right after the car died, chris developed auto immune disease and lost the hearing in one of his ears and found out that he was pre-diabetic, so it seemed like everything for him changed all of a sudden. and as his life changed, so did mine, but it certainly didn't feel like it was for the better.
so 2010 was a rotten year of learning to adjust to new norms. i hated all of them. i was so glad when 2010 was over and i was hopeful that 2011 would be better. however, as the year progressed, chris' health got even worse and brooke was doing badly with school which, as a homeschooling mom, left me feeling extremely frustrated and often helpless and stuck. but in june, we packed up and moved all of a sudden. we left behind a few friends, but for the most part, our lives there had been feeling like we were at a dead-end for a while and we desperately needed something to change.
we moved in with the in-laws and have worked our way through some adjustments. it's hard to live with other people, but chris' health has improved quite a bit and that's worth a lot to me. but i've been feeling stuck here too. it's time to stop just being as i've always been. stop living my life simply in reaction to the needs of the people around me.
2012 is going to be my year of self improvement. i stopped swearing. i've got tons of will power when it comes to decisions i'm really ready to make, so that hasn't been too hard.
i've started volunteering with a group that's associated with my church to provide clothing to people who are too poor to purchase clothes. brooke's going with me each time i work too, so i'm setting a good example for her of learning to take care of other people even if they're not technically our responsibility.
i got to the dermatologist and my skin is loving the new products i'm using. for the first time in over a year, i've been able to spend days without makeup covering my face just to make me presentable.
a couple weeks ago, something happened to a family member and it was life changing for me. it's not my story to share publicly, so i won't, but it made me desperate for answers from a supernatural source because there were no good answers to be found in the world around me. so i dug into my bible like i haven't done in far too long. and i opened back up a relationship with Jesus that i have neglected. that's definitely an improvement in my life.
my sister sarah asked me to be in her wedding in august. of course i'm happy to do so, and it gave me exactly the kick in the pants that i needed to start getting in shape. i've dropped most of the bad foods and added in many healthy ones. i've started exercising every day and already, in just 3 weeks, i've lost 10 lbs. i've also started eating barley powder again, but that's a story for another post.
all in all, i can feel my life shifting in a much more positive direction. i've never been one who's always looking for ways to change and improve myself and clearly, that's why so many things have been wrong for so long. but this is a new year and today is a new day.
and by august, i'll be ready to wear whatever dress sarah decides to put me in. here's the picture she sent me today as a possible option for the wedding party. won't we look awesome?