Monday, February 6, 2012

want to come over for dinner?

imagine the scene if you will. . .

you're making dinner for friends who are coming over. there will be at least 10 extra people sitting around on your couches and folding chairs tonight. you're scrambling to get every little thing ready before the first guest arrives. the potatoes are roasting. the burgers and dogs are ready to be tossed on the grill that's heating outside the kitchen door. drinks are in the cooler and the macaroni and cheese is finished.

you've got the washing machine and dryer in the corner of the kitchen covered with a cute table cloth where you'll line up all the food, buffet style since you have almost zero counter space.

you've got almost everything finished so it's time to start the salad. you pull all the fresh fixings out of the fridge and start getting things washed and chopped. you wash off the lettuce and plop all of it into a lingerie bag and toss it into the washing machine over in the corner and turn on the spin cycle to get all the excess water spun off so it'll be clean and crispy.

the doorbell rings. you answer the door and let in two of your closest girl friends. you run back into the kitchen and invite them to follow you while you finish up the salad. you open the washer and pull out the bag of clean, dry lettuce and then recover the machine with the table cloth. you proceed to the counter to chop up the lettuce and get everything tossed together when you notice a strange thing. it's silent in the room.

the two ladies you invited in aren't known for being quiet. ever. why aren't they talking? you look over at them and they're both staring at you with a look of mutual horror on their faces. you don't understand what's wrong. you look around trying to figure out what they see that you're clearly missing. you find nothing amiss.

you ask "what?" they start sputtering and pointing to the lingerie bag you're holding in your hand. one points to the washing machine and says, " you just.... you took that... that bag out of the washing machine." the other one jumps in. "there was... LETTUCE in it?"

you still don't see the problem. of course there was lettuce in the bag. and of course it was in the washing machine. you consider yourself fortunate to have a washing machine so handily positioned whenever you're spinning your lettuce dry in the clean lingerie bag that was purchased specifically for that purpose. doesn't everyone do that? how else to get it perfectly dried without having to wipe off each piece top and bottom?

every other guest that arrived was greeted with news of the salad in the washer. and the story got bigger and more elaborately outrageous as the night went on. i became the hostess of questionable standards. the one who couldn't be trusted to make responsible choices in what she fed to herself or her friends.

and oddly enough, there was a lot of salad left over after everyone went home.

what about you? do you vote for it being a great idea or are you reading this with the look of horror on your face to match my loud mouthed friends? it's okay whichever way you vote. i'll still like you. i might even invite you over for dinner. and salad.

44 comments:

  1. I don't find it that disgusting to be honest, like your friends definitely did overreact a bit. Sure it's unconventional I guess but I wouldn't worry too much!

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  2. I think salad in the washing machine is one of the funniest and most AWESOME ideas I've ever heard. Of course, this is coming from a girl who once tried to slow roast a hunk of beef next to the engine of her moving van on her cross-country drive (didn't work, by the way)...so, take my opinion with a grain of salt. :)

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    1. your opinion is worth millions of grains of salt. and you tried to cook meat on your engine??!! did you also bake cookies on your dashboard in the summer? fry an egg on a sidewalk? you're awesome!

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    2. I have no idea how I came across the idea, but I must've read somewhere online about it. Since we were moving, had an extra roast, and planned to be in the van for hours it seemed feasible. I was SO disappointed when it didn't work. I hate wasting food. haha! I haven't tried many other unconventional food prep methods that I can recall.

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  3. I LOVE your oversized salad spinner. you should have asked your drop-jawed guests how well they liked their dogs cooked and then thrown some in the dryer!

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    1. lmao! oh how i wish i'd thought of that!!!

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  4. oh Sherilin, you nut. Just get a salad spinner.

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    1. it's the "just get" part i struggle with. that's never been feasible for me. so i "just improvise" instead.

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  5. I don't think either. I just think you're hilarious! and I will come over for dinner, and I will eat your salad!

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    1. yay! i wish you could come over to eat dinner! or drink. or go for a walk. or anything!

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  6. Buahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! I remember that night!!!!!! I was astonished and tickled at the idea, but...I ate the salad and would again. Probably won't see me spinning my salald in the washer, but to each his own. And though I said to each his own, I will most definitely still LAUGH OUT LOUD at the concept!!!!! LOL

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    1. you guys went crazy that night. i thought you'd never shut up about the dang salad in the washing machine, but it makes me laugh now when i think about it. =) in hindsight, it was perhaps odd.

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  7. the brings new meaning to tossing the salad

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    1. indeed it does. i remembered the story tonight when i was outside swinging a bag of lettuce in a crazy circle in a lingerie bag to get the water off. made me wish i'd just chucked it in the washer.

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  8. Horror. HORROR. HORRORRRRRR!!!!

    http://bumbumgerms.blogspot.com/2011/08/fun-friendly-phobic-fact-friday_26.html

    Your washing machine is positively laden with bacteria. DDD:

    I mean, I still love you. But, HORROR!!

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    1. jo, i've been awaiting your response. as soon as i posted this, i KNEW you were going to come over & freak out when you read it. =) it's been years since i did this. ever since i moved out of the house where my washing machine was in my kitchen. or maybe the last time i did it was that night. though i still sometimes chuck it into a lingerie bag & swing it really hard by hand.

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    2. hahahaha. OF COURSE I had to come over and freak out. Oh, and if that "OVER REACT" was aimed at me, you might remind her I have no control over it. :)

      God made dirt and dirt don't hurt, unless there's listeria and E. Coli in it. Snork. No, but really, I truly admire your creativity, and I thank you for having abandoned this most creative concept. :)

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    3. i think the "over react" was aimed at the ladies i had over that night. they still love me though. i posted the link to this on facebook & tagged both of them last night. one is just loud and funny and loves a chance to pester people for a laugh.

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  9. Hmmm-- question is would you come to MY house for a salad? If I remember, I run it under the faucet and just give it a shake. Otherwise, I hope and pray that you don't get dirt and pebbles in your teeth. ;)

    two words: Over react?

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    1. i would come to your house for a salad or anything else if i was close enough! pebbles be darned. or as we used to say when we were kids, "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt."

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    2. If I ever "run it under the faucet and just give it a shake", I'd get in a whole lot of trouble. Especially with company in the house.

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    3. al, you're referring to running your elbow under the faucet & giving it a shake, aren't you?

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    4. Well, of course, what did you think I mea.....ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

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  10. This a first, never heard of anyone doing this. It worked for the purpose you needed. I am sure a great, great, great grandmother would have applauded you for using what you had. The germs thing, really people if you had any idea of how many you come in contact every time you touch the handle going into the local shopping mall. Of course I would have dinner at your home, I like my dogs burnt.

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    1. i'll be sure to put your dogs into the dryer on high heat. it'll burn the germs off.

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    2. The problem is, I do have an extremely good idea of how many germs are on the handle going into the mall. I don't touch that either. :) And I love the idea of tossing the dogs in on hot. hehehe.

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  11. I totally think you are genius

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    1. thank you carmen. whatever makes life easier, right?

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  12. That's a fantastic idea. One I never would have thought of, but still pretty smart. And look on the bright side, you could've washed the lettuce off by tossing it in the toilet and flushing a few times (the lettuce, not 'it').
    Bottom line, though. There's drinks in the cooler.
    I'm good.

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    1. drinks in the cooler makes everything better, doesn't it?

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    2. Oh, hell, drinks anywhere makes it better.

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  13. A smart woman!

    Such a rare thing!

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    1. hhmmmm, a compliment mixed with an insult? me thinks so.

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  14. I have to admid...I HAVE NEVER EVER heard of such a thing.

    (therefore, I might be exhibiting a little "horror")
    Do you wash it with other things, like your "delicates". (teee.hee)

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    1. nope, the salad gets washed all by itself. it's such a diva.

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  15. Every year we can pickles...we rinse them off in the washing machine on the rinse cycle. (no spin cycle!)
    The first time we had "outsiders" help us...they were morified!!
    lettus in the spin cycle...awesome idea!

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    1. i haven't heard of washing food in the washing machine, though perhaps in the dishwasher. but why not?
      btw, who are you?

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  16. oh. my. word. the salad does look yummy though. . .

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    1. the salad in the picture was one i just made a couple days ago & didn't involve any appliances, but the washing machine salad looked just like it. nothing like a little pesto tossed into give it a bit of a kick.

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  17. I probably would have cracked up if I'd walked in on that! I wouldn't have been horrified, just greatly amused!

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  18. You learned this trick from your mother. Don't try to take credit for being so creative with your lettuce! As for germs, after living in a third world country for ten days methinks spinning lettuce in a washing machine is the epitome of sanitary food prep.

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  19. OK, I just HAVE to say it. Are you related to Kramer on Seinfeld? :D

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!