9 ~ the start of something new

my little girl just turned 9. and somehow 9 seems different than all the ages that have come before. it's the place where i really remember my life beginning. i moved from one city to another when i was 9 and there were a lot of things that i remember from that period of time that stand out clearly in my memory. it's when i stopped feeling like a little kid & realized that i wasn't the property of my parents but rather of myself.

i remember that the house we were moving out of was about 1 and a half stories high at the highest point (part of it was underground) and my brother & i opened my bedroom window, removed the screen & jumped out the window to the ground without getting hurt & then ran back in through the front door feeling very proud of ourselves and also scared that mom would realize what we'd done & punish us.

i remember that i started growing boobs, but my mom thought maybe something was wrong with me because she didn't expect to see them arriving so early, so she took me to the doctor who twiddled and pinched me & then called in another doctor who did the same & then they agreed that it was simply breast buds and nothing to be worried about. so mom took me to j.c. penney's and bought me a white stretchy starter bra.

i remember that when we got to our new house, my bed was put into the guest room & i was told that we would go buy me a new bed. but i didn't want a new bed, i wanted to sleep in one of the giant wardrobe boxes from the move. so for a couple months, i slept in my rainbow brite sleeping bag in my box like a hobo, loving that i could move it from one space to another or color all over my box walls or ceiling whenever i wanted.

i remember that there was a boy who i really liked named joe deckman. he was 11 and went to the same church as me; our parents were friends. right before we moved, he asked if he could take me out on a date and for some unfathomable reason, both sets of parents agreed. he and his mom picked me up in their huge station wagon & dropped us off at a pizza shop for one hour. afterwards, his mom took us back to their house where we played a round of life which made me feel all nervous because it talked about us becoming adults and parents and having houses. then we went for a walk through the woods behind his house & we held hands.

oh my gosh, my stomach is suddenly feeling nervous just thinking about the fact that one of these days, my little bitty girl will be feeling butterflies about boys and holding their hands. it feels like the start of a new piece of life.

i've loved every part of her life so far and somehow it seems like each part just keeps getting better. she's old enough to get jokes now and sarcasm. she's figured out the humor of word play. she reads books for fun and types like a pro. she knows that johnny depp is hot even though he's kind of crazy. she makes decisions for herself based on logic and reason and she doesn't second guess herself. she's still a little girl, but i'm starting to see glimpses of the older, wiser, beautiful young woman who she's becoming. i'm so glad i'm her mom.

and on a totally unrelated note, i submitted a story to the cheesy bloggers for their Best. Story. Ever. theme and i wanted to invite you to go check them out. it's a great collection of bloggers who get together and share their crazy and delightful stories. my story was definitely NOT delightful, but they published it anyway, along with my first kiss story from a couple weeks ago.