Thursday, March 22, 2012

limericks

can i be honest for a moment? did everyone take their judgey pants off? thanks. i feel much more comfortable presenting my confession now.

i don't like most poetry. i don't like delving into the depths of veiled thoughts and impressions. and i don't like symbolism or things that say one thing, but mean another. i prefer the things i read to be right out there, in my face. (somewhat like you people with your pants off (shut up, al))

there's one exception to my anti-poetry rule and that is when it's solidly rhymey and especially if it's funny. i go past the shelves of poetry at the library without even turning my head most of the time. i sometimes feel like i should appreciate it more than i do. like my character is somehow lacking or flawed by my preference for the shallow stuff. but i sort of think that if it doesn't rhyme, then it's not really poetry at all, it's just a string of presumptuous words with awkward spacing.

limericks though, are just a good time all around. my mom's got a special knack for funny poetry, so she's the one poet (ok, i'll admit that i also like shel silverstein) who i really appreciate.

she writes a limerick or other silly poem for brooke each week, using brooke's spelling words. brooke hates writing the spelling words, but needs to practice spelling them, so i have her type an email to mimi, writing each word three times every week. the pay off is always the poem that flies back to her inbox usually within the hour.

last week mom wrote one for me.


There was a young lady named Sheri
Whose pits were incredibly hairy.
She waxed and she shaved,
She ranted and raved,
But still those wild tresses were scary.

my response:

my pits were distressingly furry
i wanted it gone in a hurry.
tank season is soon
just three months til june,
i'll laser them down with a fury.

do any of you guys write limericks? you wanna try? come on, practice on me.

anyone? ......  anyone?  .......  ?



26 comments:

  1. Sheri had hairy armpits,
    more hair grew on her ti*s.
    But she used Revitol cream,
    and it worked like a dream,
    but sadly it gave her the sh*ts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please note: I never used the words 'tits' or 'shits'!
      That'll tell ya that I'm a classy guy!

      Delete
    2. i hate things that give me the sh*ts. but i'm glad my hairy dilemma has been conquered.

      Delete
  2. Actually loved the limerick Sheri, it made me laugh out loud!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks. such cleverness with words my mom has.

      Delete
  3. Great limerick! If you only like poetry that is funny and rhymes, then you will like my Kindle book, "Assorted Verse, or Worse!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sounds funny, eva! alas, i don't have an electronic reading device, other than this here computer.

      Delete
  4. I am not good at limericks so I am not even gonna try.
    But, I loved yours and your moms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. did you ever have to write poetry for school assignments? those are the worst when it's forced creativity in a subject where you hate it.

      Delete
  5. A blogger named Sheri was writing,
    Except when her nails she was biting.
    Her hands looked all icky
    Since gnawing was tricky,
    So now all those urges she's fighting.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When Sherilin started to diet
    She tried really hard to be quiet.
    But all those long runs
    Kept decreasing her buns
    Til soon she had started a riot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i would love to start a riot with my buns! then again, i would also love to be able to run, but so far, it's not happening unless my life is dependent upon it. there's not a sports bra in the world strong enough to protect my face from the beating it would take.

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  7. I actually DO write lyrics, most of them incredibly dirty.

    :-)

    I've written a children's book all in limerick, however, about a chimpanzee distressed over the inability to buy shoes off the rack. :-) The illustrations are half-done, and I've crossed every limb I possess hoping that it will be published.

    Cross something for me!

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nice, pearl! are you doing the illustrating yourself?

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    2. Don't forget your fiends when you hand out the freebies Pearl.

      Delete
  8. I'm not into poetry either. But, I am into your fab new photo. Lookin' good girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aw, thanks for noticing! i was so excited to get a picture that i didn't have to airbrush or anything!

      Delete
  9. There once was a man from Nantucket....
    aw, crap, I can't write this!

    I'll ponder more and get back to you.
    By the way, I think your new picture looks great, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks. and i'm surprised. i figured you'd be the first one to bust out a good little ditty for me here.

      Delete
  10. I stink at poetry, unless it is more like Doctor Seuss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you write stuff like dr seuss? do share!

      Delete
  11. I am pro-limmerick too - you and your mom have a funny thing going on there. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. There once was a lady named Sheriliniii!
    She would talk about her boobs on a whimmy.
    She made my laugh, and pee my pants
    all while sitting here on my ass.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol! i do talk about my boobs on a whimmy, don't i?

      Delete

don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!