Monday, March 5, 2012

these are a few of my least favorite things




i suddenly got the urge to write my own version of the song "these are a few of my favorite things" from the sound of music today. but i couldn't just write about my favorite things because that's too sweet and nice. so i wrote it about my least favorite things.

here are the lyrics in case you didn't catch them.


hobos and hairballs and elephant seals
unflying kites and potato peels
having to listen as yo gabba sings
these are a few of my least favorite things


meatloaf and hot dogs and slow draining sinks
cleaning the litter pan, oh how it stinks
butt juicing cat that makes my nose sting
these are a few of my least favorite things


greasy hair, pit stink, and hot dumpster juice
stepping in slime that's pooped out by a goose
plunging the toilet, the sights that it brings
these are a few of my least favorite things


when the zit pops,
when the kids cry,
when i'm feeling sad.
i simply remember my least favorite things
and then i keep feeling bad.

and i think brooke did a great job as my backup dancer through the video.

49 comments:

  1. ROFL!!!! i didn't get a chance to play the video here at nap time but those lyrics are mint! I can't wait to come back to this later today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i hope you'll come back & watch the video. enjoy my ridiculous shame.

      Delete
  2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Love it! You did indeed inherit your mother's talent for poetry extraordinaire!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mom, i thought of you while i was writing it because it totally seemed like something you would do. it took me a few tries to get it recorded and i kind of think brooke is the funniest part in the background! i'm glad i didn't see her while i was singing or i would have been laughing while trying to sing.

      Delete
  3. OMG WIN

    Hilarious and awesome. Oh, but NO YOU DIINT SAY BUTT JUICING CAT. *herk*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. both of my cats are, unfortunately, butt juicers. it's a very unfortunate thing.

      Delete
    2. This song reminds me of the time my mom and I created a song on-the-spot whilst cleaning out our disgusting fridge. I was like 8. It was sung to the tune of "On Top of Spaghetti." *clears throat*

      Inside of Old Moldy
      All covered with sleaze
      I found slimy lettuce
      And green cottage cheese.

      A can of old dog food
      Growing some hair
      A bowl of brown peaches
      I'd forgotten were there.

      Have you ever seen green beans
      Turn into mush?
      They were safe in my Tupperware
      Till they turned into slush.

      I opened the milk up
      With trembling and fear
      The date on the carton
      Was sometime last year.

      [something else I've forgotten]

      VOILA!

      Delete
    3. that's awesome! i'm super impressed that you remember the lines so well.

      Delete
  4. You and Brooke are the funniest duo in the land! HIlarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. she definitely added some color in the background, didn't she?

      Delete
  5. Great video!
    Although I would include erectile dysfunction in mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thankfully, al, i don't have to include such things in my list. plus, i don't think dysfunction would rhyme with anything funny.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. Erectile dysfunction
      and post-peeing "leakers."
      "O"-Ring malfunctions
      and nuts in my sneakers.
      Can't find my glasses,
      I need them to pee.
      Where did the years go?
      It sucks to be me.

      Oh, as far as "O Ring Malfunction"...? Think "shart." 'Nuff said.

      Delete
    4. you certainly proved me wrong about funny things rhyming with dysfunction!
      i LOVE your verse!

      Delete
    5. Conjunction Junction
      Erectile Dysfunction.
      May as well watch cartoons
      'cause my weenie won't work.

      Delete
  6. I love this Sherilin especially since I'm so familiar with the original, hilarious stuff!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks, matthew. it's not often i attempt such things as writing semi-poetry or singing for an audience, but i had a little fun with it today.

      Delete
  7. oh my sherillin, this is hilarious! You (and Brooke) might have a career here...
    lol. awesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are quite ballzy, my friend. I am so proud to know you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ballzy... yes, i think i like that. and i'm proud to know you too. =)

      Delete
  9. I just don't think I can hear the other version quit as freely now. gross. good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. gross is right! i mean, how many songs include a butt-juicing cat?

      Delete
  10. Fan-freakin-tab-u-lous!!!!! Love it! And I'm impressed that you're brave enough to sing out loud for all of the interwebs to hear! Bravo!!!
    Butt juicing cat? I love it, too. Can I borrow that one?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i was having a good ole time writing the lyrics to my song before i realized that a song that's been written with no one to sing it, is far less valuable. that's when i started getting nervous about the performance end of things. i recorded about 4 flops before i got to the version that i was willing to post. singing isn't my thing at all, but it had to be done.
      and feel free to use the butt juicing cat line. unfortunately, both of my kitties are guilty of the heinous crime of butt juicing. one when she gets scared and one when she gets too relaxed. gross!

      Delete
  11. Bahahahaha! This post killed me. Killed.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm going to regret this, but what is a butt juicing cat?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's an unfortunate thing where the anal glands on a cat or dog leak. and the fluid that comes out it kind of like a cross between vomit and diarhea. it's the most vile substance on earth and it sticks with you for far too long. like it's stuck in your nostrils for a while even after it's gone. one of my cats uses it almost like a weapon and can spray it like a skunk. the other one dribbles it when i have to clip up the hair around her fluffy hiney. or when she gets too relaxed, she leaks.
      vile, i tell you! VILE!
      you regret asking now, don't you?

      Delete
    2. Oh yes, yes I do. And yet--I have closure!

      Delete
    3. i aim to be a closure bringer. i'll be this for you. any other questions i can answer for you?

      Delete
    4. My dad got juiced on by our dog once at the vet's. He had to hold said dog, while the vet popped his little, swollen anal glands. Father was disgusted. Prints was violated. Bad times had by all.

      Delete
  13. I absolutely LOVE the little scene-stealer behind you! Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too! i'm glad i could't see her while i was singing or i wouldn't have been able to do it without laughing.

      Delete
  14. I am all kinds of glad I don't have a butt juicing cat. eewww.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh yes, be very glad. it's dreadful sometimes. once, i thought i'd be funny & wake my husband up by dropping the cat on his stomach. it startled the cat as much as it startled the man and she let loose with a spray that hit him smack across the face and splattered his pillow. talk about the opposite of good morning!!

      Delete
  15. I agree with all your favorite things, except for the zit popping. While I would prefer not to have pimples at 28, I do get a sense of satisfaction still when I can pop one. I'm going to watch this video when I'm not in the office, but I sang the words to myself. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ok, i guess there's some satisfaction in a good popping zit, but i'm 36 and ready not to be dealing with such facial shenanigans anymore.

      Delete
  16. That, my dear, was the highlight of my day.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i'm glad i could bring you a little sunshine today. =)

      Delete
  17. When the zit pops....nice touch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i try to keep it classy around here.

      Delete
  18. Yo Gabba Gabba has been banned from our house! And what is a "butt juicing cat?" It sounds bad, no matter what the definition.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. isn't it horrible? thankfully brooke has pretty much outgrown it, but i still cringe when it pops on, even for a moment.

      Delete
  19. This tops them all. You're amazing, LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yay! i've had a hard time writing anything since this. maybe i just jumped my own shark.

      Delete

don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!