Thursday, March 18, 2010


today while i was at work, somehow the topic of tattoos came up. i think it was because my costumer's 4 year old was wearing a fake one & it reminded me of how brooke has never once been willing to let me even come near her with a fake tattoo.

and that reminded me of when i was young & stupid & getting tattoos of the real variety. when i first got one (after trying out the fake ones for years to make sure i really wanted one) i went to my parents' house to visit & i was feeling a little bit anxious about it because it was on my ankle & it was summer & someone was bound to notice it. leave it to my little 9 year old sister sarah. she asked, right in front of our parents, how long i'd had it on there & i told her 2 weeks. she ooo-ed & aahh-ed about how it still looked perfect & hers never lasted that long. that's when i dropped the bomb that it was real. oh that awkward silence! how my stomach rumbled with nerves as i worried about my parents' reactions! eventually i got another tattoo along with getting my belly button & tongue pierced & my head shaved & i stopped fretting over how they felt about my personal decor. i think it was less of a concern to them than many of the other choices i was making during that part of my life.

i remember having a conversation with my parents about how someday i planned to let my children get tattoos & what was the big deal. my dad laughed at me & said that God would probably mess with that plan & give me a kid who would never want a tattoo or piercing or blue hair or a shaved head. i laughed out of pure foolish delusion. how could i ever possibly have a child who wouldn't want to live on the edge? i was way too cool (in my own head) to have a boring or straight-laced child. mm-hmm. that's what i thought.

i certainly can't pretend to have any kind of idea what kind of person brooke will be when she grows up, but she sure doesn't want any part of tattoos now. or nail polish or lip gloss or any of the other things that i thought were a necessary part of a girls childhood.

and while i guess that's a good thing, at the same time, i'm a little disappointed that i won't be able to pass on my tattoo wisdom to my offspring. she doesn't care at all. so let me share it with you. when you're getting a tattoo, as a young woman, DON'T GET IT ON YOUR LOWER STOMACH! even if you're 20 & thin & cute & not planning to have babies, it's a very bad choice for placement! choose another location! i had a cute little mousey, like jerry from the cartoon, holding a sweet little flower (to match the flowers on my ankle) put in the area of my stomach where it wouldn't be seen even when i was wearing a bikini.

7 years later, i was in the hospital delivering a baby. now, no longer is there a cute little mousey down there. this bad boy's a big ass sewer rat! the stretch marks that completely ruined my stomach were merciless in their decimation of my mouse. it is deformed, large, mutilated & grotesque. every once in a while, brooke will catch a glimpse of it & she'll want to get a better look. she'll pull & tug on parts of my stomach to stretch it & make it look like it's moving around, all the while making disturbing sound effects. hmmm... maybe that's why she wants no part of tattoos.


  1. Oh NO!! At least it's where no one ever will see it (is that a consolation??!). I'm planning my next two, but I've always held off, trying to imagine my body in another 10 years...or 30! Grey asks if she can have a leaf when she gets big. I tell her certainly, but we'll have to discuss it at the time.

  2. hahahhahaha.. I have contemplated a tattoo many times but never could decide on something I would want to look at forever and the thought of it wrinkling as I got older didn't really appeal to me either. :)


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