Monday, December 26, 2011

a year without swearing

i've mentioned before that i have an affinity for swearing. i enjoy some strong and offensive language when it's used in the right context. it makes me laugh when other people do it, particularly when it catches me by surprise, if they're of the generally starched variety of human.

i never swore out loud until i was 20, but when i turned 20, i decided to try out anything and everything i'd ever wanted to do with no regard for the wishes of my family or church buddies. i suddenly sprouted a blatant disregard for all things proper and appropriate and it was like the flood gates of my potty mouth sprung open and the filth poured out.

it wasn't long before i realized that i had become terribly annoying and had to tone it down so that i could stand to be around myself. i learned that the colorful words should be primarily used as "passion" words rather than standard fare for chatting.

the whole reason i've even mentioned this is because i've decided to remove the potty-mouthery from my vocabulary for the year of 2012, including my finger vocabulary. i've felt the push from God to clean it up this year. i've got to be honest here - i'm not very happy about it. i like cussing. and the thought of going a whole year without it makes me feel a ridiculous sense of loss, bordering on mourning.

earlier in the day chris got ticked about something and let fly a lovely string of expletives.  i felt like a dieter being teased by an inconsiderate loved one, packing brownies and potato chips into his mouth right in front of my hungry, drooling face.

i don't know how this will turn out. it may be simply a year long filth hiatus or it may become a habit that i will eventually see as an improvement to my life. in the meantime, i wish there was a patch i could wear to take the edge off. i think i'm twitching.


  1. I wish you well in this endeavor. If you invent a patch, let me know, I need one.

  2. HA! You are a hoot. Does thinking them count?? Kinda like the "didn't inhale" justification??

  3. I have the bad habit of just supplementing w. the short or "cleaned-up" version of the word like f-ing and I am not so sure that is better. I too have had times of being convicted about this particularly and it actually helps that my hubs does NOT do it so I definitely understand the dieter analogy you made. I have always used the excuse that it is just folks being legalistic but James has a bit to say about it as well as Paul in Ephesians. Maybe we can be team mates in the endeavor or maybe you can get Chris to do it with you. Either way I hope it becomes a blessing for you!

  4. I f****** can't f****** believe you wanna give up f****** swearing!!!

    What a f****** stupid tw***** decision that f****** was!


    P.S. you know I luvs ya really!

  5. Good luck on curing the potty mouth. I have never been much of a swearing person in the normal way. I tend to use weird words as my swear words, you know, kind of like when my father would say Jimny Cricket when he meant the same as if he had used the real swear word. So is it really better to turn normal harmless words into swear words?

  6. Good luck on trying to go a year without this, I once made the resolution a few years back and ended up breaking it on the 2nd or the 3rd of January so I hope you don't suffer a similar fate! Now I swear all the time, it's horrible but I can't help it haha! Good luck!

  7. My euphemism for swearing: Anglo-Saxon Expressions of Goodwill.
    No shit.
    Seriously, good luck with your noble endeavor. I admire you for giving it a go.
    No schizznick (I just made that word up).

  8. Good luck! I tried 2 years ago and had to give in. I just love them little cusswords so much. They're like my babies that need to be cuddle and not neglected.
    "finger vocabulary" hahahahahah

  9. Good luck with your endeavor! Although I'm sure some will miss the "color" in your conversation!

  10. Oh, I love the swears too. I had to verbally neuter myself though because I just don't want to talk like that in front of my children, but when I'm alone in my car......ah, sweet, wonderful foulness.

    I was a super swear mouth in grade one, and then reformed in grade 2.

  11. From having my mouth washed out with soap for yelling "damn" in church (while my dad was leading the worship!) to dropping some f-bombs a few hours ago, I've always had a serious potty mouth. I'm trying very hard to clean it up in front of Sasha, because I do NOT want to hear swear words among my 18-month old's babble talk.

    I'm hugely impressed you're doing this - I don't think I'd make it. Good luck!!

  12. i'm torn on whether or not i'll be allowed (in my own conscience) to say things like "friggin" or "dang." can i yell "frenchfries!" when i'm mad? or shall i become like my dad and snarl out a string of "fligginsnoggle flankenshnark" when i get really ticked?

  13. This is so funny to read! Only because I actually thought about doing the same...WITH an extra bit: "Stop swearing so front of the kids." That's a little more doable for me.

  14. Oh, but there's ways to cuss without relying on the vulgar. :-) I suggest you explore that avenue.

    In the meantime, I look forward to this experiment. Frankly, swearing is over-rated and SO overdone, darling. :-)


  15. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! No swearing? Impossible! Oh wait, I replaced fuck up with front door, I am already off to a great start. Wait, shit, I said fuck.

    nope, can't do it.

    GOOD LUCK THOUGHT! You fucking rock.

  16. Just posted on ! I love this post. But clearly you've gone CRAZY.


don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!