Friday, March 25, 2011

it's not a balloon - friday confessional

this is one of those stories that i've thought of writing for a while because it's a good one, if by good i mean horrible, but i've debated with myself because i try to only embarrass myself here. but today i'm inspired by reading this post by helene & it was a long time ago & no one remembers it but me, so here goes. oh, and i'm going to apply the kitty rule now.


when my daughter was 3, we became friends with a single mom & her little daughter who was close to brooke's age. the girls had lots of fun together & we moms got to talk and laugh & compare mothering tales. we spent tons of time together since chris was at work almost every night & our girls were too young for school so there was no schedule to worry about.

one night, it was getting late, so we decided to give the girls a bath in order to prolong our visit a bit and give the kids something to keep them busy. their house was very small & when i was sitting in the living room, i could clearly see straight into the bathtub, not more than ten or fifteen feet away.

so once the girls were washed up, we left them in the tub, splashing around & having a good time. my friend and i were chatting in the living room. then i noticed that brooke was holding something i didn't recognize. it didn't look like any bath toy i'd ever seen before. she put it up to her sweet, clean, little mouth & started to blow it up like a balloon.


i walked into the bathroom & took it away from her & went back into the living room to ask my friend what it was. she kind of giggled and told me that it was her d0uchebag & why was i asking. i told her that brooke had been blowing into it. she turned red and i turned green.

i pulled brooke out of that tub, got her dried and dressed in record time & then zoomed home to wash & scrub out her mouth in an effort to purify the nastiness. she wasn't pleased at having her teeth brushed repeatedly, but i didn't know what else to do. if i'd thought she could manage some listerine, i would have pried her lips open & poured it in with a funnel.

and that is my friday confessional

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32 comments:

  1. Legen....wait for it....dary!! Thanks for the laugh :D

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  2. The things kids try to play with.

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  3. I used to eat worms when I was a kid.

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  4. EW! so glad you started with the picture of the kitten, but now the kitty has a whole new meaning and i am even more grossed out.

    thanks for linking up your confessional. this was a doozy!

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  5. *gags* bleck!

    *laughs* bwahahaha!

    *chokes* (too much gagging and laughing)

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  6. OMG that is so funny! My grandmother had one of those under her sink.

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  7. Very funny! You know that some day when Brooke is older, you will bring this story up...but hopefully by then, she will have some ammunition against you!

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  8. OMG, too funny! Thanks for sharing!

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  9. Oh my, the things kids get in to! That one was pretty gross though, I have to say.

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  10. As soon as I saw the kitten, I knew we were in for it...

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  11. carrie, i'm glad you know my pattern now. if you see a kitty in your reader/feed you better get ready! =)
    and if brooke ever needs some ammo on me down the road, all she's got to do is read this blog, cuz i put it all out there.

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  12. So Funny! So Iky! So Kids!

    Thanks for the laugh!

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  13. Kitty rules!

    Ha ha ha are you still friends with that gal??? LOL

    I didnt think people actually still did that!

    That is so revloting.

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  14. Woooooow. I really can't think of anything else to say other than 'wow'.

    Oh, wait...I thought of something. Are you still friends with the lady?

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  15. Um, confession: I didn't know what it was, so I had to look it up, lol.

    And now, all I can say is: Ew!

    Yucky, but is it bad that I was LOL'ing so loud that my hubby came to check on me! I think you should win a prize for this, lol! ;-)

    BTW, thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog; really appreciate it! And, to answer your question: we call our youngest the Fire Pig because while looking up (for fun) our family members' Zodiac signs, we discovered he was born in the Year of the Pig, under thee element of fire. All of the personality traits associated with it perfectly describes him, it's kind of scary, lol!

    Have a great weekend! :-)

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  16. OH EW! EW!

    I thought it would be a condom because that's what happened to my flatmate and her boyfriend, when her family was over visiting. Her baby step brother wandered out of their room with one, asking the whole room very loudly what it was..
    It was hilarious.

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  17. Loved your confessional!! I'm following both of your blogs it looks like! These confessionals are too fun!

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  18. wow, I'd never seen a douchebag for realz before...

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  19. Haha, that's so SICK. How was it even in child's reach?!

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  20. If it'll make you fell better......
    When I was a little lad...no, wait, that's not right, since I'm a little MAN now....ok, when I was a little boy-that's better-I tried to blow one of those damn things up. I almost blew my cheeks (on my face) out.
    Next time, I'll tell you about those funny-smelling balloons I found in my father's night table....

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  21. to answer a couple of you, nope, not still friends with her. there were some serious differences that i couldn't quite get over.
    and i think it was within reach only barely. i believe it had been up on a shelf over the kids heads, but my kid was taller than hers & able to yank it down. lucky me!

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  22. This totally tops the time my son ate a cookie of the Dr's office floor and the time my daughter ate M&Ms off the Old Navy dressing room floor that by the way were not hers and had been there for no telling how long.

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  23. OMgoodness! love that you confessed....has me laughing!

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  24. I left a comment for you on average girls post.

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  25. Um....don't know what to say other then
    oh,oh
    (I thought it was a water bottle)

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  26. Ahh! That is disgusting! Why would you friend keep that out where the kids could get to it??

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!