don't name that tune

my husband just called me a tard. this makes me laugh in the present context, because seriously, who can tell the difference between a bass & a guitar when you're looking at some people playing in a band? i mean, if you're not a musician, who the heck knows or cares about the difference?! he'll tell me, "you know the guy who plays the bass in that band?" i think to myself in my head that i know who he's talking about, but apparently my head thinking business is all wrong because i'm picturing the guitar player. as if there's any real difference! come on! don't tell me about numbers of strings or size of body. those things are inconsequential & meaningless in my world. it's a stick with strings & someone holds it & rubs their hands over it. noise comes out. the end.

when it comes to all things musical, i'm a complete failure. i'll comment to chris sometimes that i liked a song that i heard.
he asks, "what's the name of it?"
umm....
"what were some of the words?"
uummm....
"do you at least remember the chorus?"
in my head i rapidly dig through mental files until i remember what the word chorus means. it's something related to songs.
nooo....
"can you hum the tune?"
..... blank stare
"was it fast or slow?"
"kind of fastish in parts, but mostly slowish. but not slow like a dirge."
(are you impressed that i know what a dirge is? cuz i am.)
he stares at me with a look of scorn & says, "so let me get this straight. you like a song, but you don't know what the name is, what the words are, how the tune goes or even if it's fast or slow. am i getting this right?"
me, relieved that he finally understands, nodding happily, "exactly! it's a really great song!"

can you believe he thinks i'm a tard?