yesterday we officially kick started third grade w/ brooke. it seems to me that most kids are at least slightly excited about the first day of school after a lazy summer of excessive free time & lack of brain engagement. my child is not like most in that regard. she's pissed about school. she doesn't understand at all how good she's got it by being homeschooled. she doesn't comprehend how many hours she'd be in a classroom, away from her parents & cats & snacks if she went to regular school. how often she'd have to keep her mouth shut when she was positively bursting with something she needed to blurt out. all she can focus on is how mad she is that i'll be making her turn off the tv or come out of her room & do something that i thought of rather than whatever she had planned for the day. she says that my schooling plans interfere w/ her brain's ideas.
at the end of a long day where we eased our way back into some semblance of structure, we'd had quite a few stress points. she'd been banned from any technology & was told to sit on the kitchen floor & await further instructions w/o speaking unless it was in a pleasant tone of voice. i put away the groceries in silence & then sent her up to get the bathroom rugs to shake in preparation for washing. she performed her tasks sulkily, but gradually worked her way out of her funk while she was washing the potatoes for dinner.
it seemed finally like the rest of our evening would probably be peaceful (cuz school was done for the day) and that's when brooke pulled up her shirt. and there, stuck to her belly was a post it note that i'd written for her a few days ago & stuck to the bathroom mirror. it was a love note telling her about the sunshine she brings into my life & how much i adore her. she'd found it on the mirror when she went up to retrieve the rugs & sticking it to her skin made her feel better. she said it made her heart feel my love again.
and that's how i keep going.