sisterly love

the past few days i've been visiting my parents & sisters & enjoying a break from regular life. finally i've ditched my sicko status & feel fairly human again so that i can make the most of my time here.

the day after i got here, i got an early morning text from my sister sarah asking if i'd be willing to shave her gnarly leg wound. let me explain, a month ago she had a freak accident while running on the beach & broke her shin bone & shattered her knee. since then she's had 3 surgeries to repair it & hopefully it's all fixed now, but in the meantime, she hasn't been able to shave that part of her leg for weeks & it was getting somewhat furry. of course, being the tender-hearted sister that i am, i agreed. i pondered the best location for the shavery & made sure she packed her razor before she came back to mom & dad's house with us.

we got back to the house & i popped out of the backseat of the car so i could rush to the trunk & retrieve sarah's crutches. she doesn't like being waited on or asking for help, so i wanted to just hurry up & get them before she was out & had to ask. i slammed my door & as i did, i heard sarah gasp & yelp, "you shut my fingers in the door!" holy. shit. i looked over & sure enough, 3 of her fingers were crushed in the place where the door closes between the front & back doors. she'd been holding onto it to steady herself & i was in such a big hurry that i didn't even look & all i could think was that i'd broken her even more! as if she didn't have enough problems right now, i've gone & lopped off 3 of her fingers w/ the car & how can she even walk w/ crutches without those fingers?! i nearly puked on the side of the car as i was rushing to rip the door back open. she pulled them out & after a moment said that it felt like they were only bruised, not permanently destroyed (thank you, toyota, for making your cars w/ plenty of padding between the door & the car. we are eternally grateful). i didn't know if i should start crying then or wait until later when fewer people were watching. i wanted to run & hide in shame for my careless mistake, but i settled for being sarah's pack mule & carrying her things into the house like an indentured servant while not making eye contact.

we got sar situated in the house after much to-do and i was ready to get down to the business of shaving. i tried to block out all images of me crushing her body parts w/ heavy machinery & hoped i'd do a better job w/ a razor around her wound than i had w/ removing her from the car. we unwrapped the wound & got a good look at it in all its glory. she has 33 staples & numerous holes from where stuff had been attached to her bones. her poor leg looked so sad & non-sarahish w/ its bruising & lack of shapeliness. i was determined to not feel sick about touching her staples as i wet down the leg & then lathered it up with soap so i could give her a nice, smooth shave. it wasn't exactly an easy task considering i've never shaved anyone but myself & what i was having to work around, but i was determined to get every last wayward hair hacked down to the skin so they wouldn't bother her by pulling in the bandage anymore. i think she appreciated that i was being so careful about hitting every nook & cranny the way i'd want my own done if i was in her situation.

i've never handled a major wound before & only seen staples in a human when they were my own after my c-section, (and i couldn't really see those since i was such a fatty then & not exactly bending over to gaze at my grossness) so that was a new experience, but one that surprisingly wasn't disturbing. i just wanted to get an A+ for a job well done so that sarah would feel better. (and to make up for the finger crunch.) i re-bandaged her afterwards & helped her get the huge brace strapped back on so that she could be safe once again. i wanted to be her little helper & make everything all right again in her world. i hate it that she's broken & in pain & frustrated w/ parts of her life right now. i wish i could wave my magic wand & actually do something helpful, but as brooke has so unkindly pointed out, i'm too big to wear the fairy suit, so maybe that's why my wand doesn't work.

the next day we went for pedicures & bonded over how our feet snowed nasty skin when they took the razors to us. it's fun to hang out w/ my little sister who's 11 years younger than me now that she's a full grown adult. funny to pour her a glass of wine & talk about men & not feel like i was doing something inappropriate. when i was her age, i was already married & talking about having babies, so i guess she's all grown up now & i don't need to handle her w/ kid gloves anymore.

it's been great to have this time w/ sarah, even though some of our bonding moments only happened because she was wounded & in need of help, but i've been grateful for them just the same. and next time i see her, i'll try not to break any more of her bones.