sabrina. she lived in a small kingdom & was betrothed to her faithful sheltie dog, dana. she dreamed of growing up to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader & wearing sexy white boots.once upon a time, in the early 1980's, there lived a young princess named
until such time as she could grow up & make all her dreams come true, she filled her days with drawing. she had a giant green book with nothing but blank pages that represented possibilities for endless fashion creations. she would draw herself as she dreamed she could be... when her boobs grew in.
this book was recently unearthed in the childhood home of sabrina's parents where it was picked over by an unkind & disenchanted art critic. because you see, sabrina didn't grow up to be the ruler of a kingdom or even to marry her sweet pooch. nor did she get to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader, but she has been known on occasion to wear sexy white boots & her boobs did grow in. boy, did they ever grow in. sabrina actually lived a life that was like the reverse of cinderella - she went from princess to scullery maid. maybe that's why she now views the early drawings as something to be mocked rather than celebrated.
let me share them with you now & allow you to judge for yourself. (click pictures if you'd care to see them more closely.)
almost every page has some form of dialog, or at least the names of the characters represented.
here we have sharon and johnny. she comes across as a flirt & he stands out primarily for his thick, lumpy neck & oddly shaped legs. i do, however, i do like sharon's boots. but her sleeves are too short & her boobs look very unrealistic for a girl with her waist size.
next we have a mermaid on a tiny island with a death grip on a coconut. that is some impressive hair she's got there & i like the way her arm bends like it's made from a pipe cleaner rather than bones.
here we have carrie and lorie. carrie is apparently anorexic, but is wearing a very full skirt to camouflage the bones protruding from her hips. and lori... i'm not even sure what to say about her. she appears not to be of the standard human variety, but rather something of the 4 fingered, mutant somewhat smurfy variety. but of course, she wouldn't be a female as drawn by sabrina if she didn't have at least teeny tiny titties on her chest.
meet bobby. there are so many things wrong with this picture that i'm not even sure where to start. first of all, what's with the massively rosie cheeks? does he live outside in a frigid land? and the wink... it's downright strange. he's got dainty little girl lips that actually, if you look closely aren't even 2 lips, but rather one uni-lip. also, there seems to be a heavy earwax situation going on. and i haven't even mentioned his hair! why are his bangs so thick & dark? and the way it falls in front of his ears all the way to his rounded chin is troubling me.
here we have another lori with much better hair than the last one. she's got a smattering of freckles that probably were meant to represent sabrina who was frequently called "freckle face" by the peasants in her kingdom. her lips are skinny, but shapely and i think i see something wistful & happy in her eyes like she's thinking of a happy time, frolicking in the woods, picking flowers for her grandma.
i think i'll conclude this story of princess sabrina's artwork for tonight, but if you're interested, there's plenty more where that came from. and feel free to add your own critique to that of the later-in-life, snarky non-princess sabrina.