Wednesday, April 25, 2012

nervous

i've been writing my whole life. i started out writing love notes to my mom and dad. i filled up diaries in elementary school to document my every thought, feeling, or irritation. i wrote letters to all my friends as well as pen pals i picked up around the world. i've had a pen in my hand since i developed enough fine motor skills to make letters look like anything legible.

i've always been a reader too. books, magazines, newspapers, letters, notes, recipes, graffiti. i can't fall asleep at night without reading. i start reading from the moment i wake up in the morning and in one way or another, i keep it up until i fall asleep at night.

i've always suspected that one day i'd write a book of my own, but i was rarely willing to whisper that dream out loud for fear of being mocked. i guess i always thought that people who said they were going to write a book were like those folks who said they were going to make it big in hollywood one day. or be recording artists. or sports.... guys. what do you call people who play sports? i never watch so i don't keep up with those things.

but lately, i can't fight the feeling that there's a book trying to escape from my brain. it's like there's a swirl of words and ideas and possibilities that won't leave me alone and won't let me rest. it has to be written.

i don't know if it'll ever get published or if anyone will ever read it, i just know that i can't wait any longer. i can hardly even go about my daily routine of schooling brooke and cooking and doing the other stuff that fills up my days because i'm so distracted.

i've read other bloggers who wrote posts like this. then they disappeared. it felt like the post of death to a blog. i hope that's not the case here, but i think i understand it now. it's not really a choice so much as a necessity for the writer. oh my gosh, i almost just suggested that i'm a writer. that's a class of people that i don't fit into because i'm not one of those cool kids. but write i must. thank goodness summer vacation is just a few weeks away or i think my brain would explode.

i'm feeling all vulnerable and nervous and excited. like i just opened up my guts and showed them to you. for me, telling embarrassing stories about myself is no big deal, but sharing an honest feeling out loud makes me want to cry.

holy crap. what am i doing?

14 comments:

  1. What are you doing?? Let's see...YOU'RE WRITING A BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I for one, am so stinking excited for you!

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  2. What are you doing? You're taking a leap into the unknown. At the bottom of that leap is creative fulfillment.

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  3. You've been writing your whole life?

    Jeez! Your wrist must be sore!

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    1. Right!

      Having now read you post properly, I can understand exactly where you are coming from! I've always wanted write books ... trouble is other folks have already written them!

      My advice ... for what it's worth ... GO FOR IT!

      Good luck and don't forget my complimentary copy!

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  4. Sherry, you can tell by the amount of followers and readers you have that a lot of people out there love your writing and that you have so much to offer the world so follow your dream and try to write this book, you definitely won't regret it! Don't let this be your blogging kiss of death though, we'd miss you.

    Also Symdaddy's first comment made me laugh so hard I thought I would die, it's a piece of beauty haha. Just had to say that.

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  5. Write the book! I'd totally read it. :)

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  6. don't feel nervous, feel LIBERATED! Now get writing!

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  7. Holy crap, sounds like you've had an epiphany girl!!

    So work toward it. Don't forget to check in with us, but get started!!

    Pearl

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  8. Write! Welcome the birth of new projects. No matter the outcome, it is liberating.

    Ummm... I think I need to practice what I preach! I have my own writing project issues.

    I will follow your lead and get to work!

    Good Luck and Much Love,

    Laura

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  9. Can't wait to hear more about it!

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  10. Per Symdaddy's comment: My wrist is sore, too. But, it ain't from writing. ;-)
    Anyway, you ARE a writer. Why else do you have all these followers who actively search out your blog? I know I automatically check "laughing my abs off" everyday.
    I think writing a book is like bringing new life in the new world (Great Googli-Moogli, I sound like a Hallmark card with a crappy UNoriginal sentiment).
    Go for it!
    Now, if you'll excuse me, my wrist is starting to feel better.

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  11. YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! Let those words out. :)

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  12. Go for it!! The weight is flowing off so let the words flow as well!

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  13. If you feel the drive to Write, then write you must.
    never pass by your gut feelings.

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!