Wednesday, November 30, 2011

what it's NOT about

i have mixed feeling about christmas. of course i loved it when i was a kid. i would wake up around 2:30am and then my brother and i would try to keep our giddy selves occupied quietly until 5am when we were allowed to bust open our stockings. we woke the parental units about 7 and then started on the present frenzy in the living room. there were freshly home baked cinnamon rolls to gobble and gifts that were just what we wanted.

we read and talked about the biblical version of the christmas story in an effort to remember what it was all about. we gave birthday presents to Jesus and ate sugary goodies. there were so many traditions and the reasons to feel happy were endless.

as an adult i've tried to find my way to some traditions of my own. things that are special to me or make it feel like the christmas season. but i lack. i love giving gifts to the people i love, but i lack money to buy great things. i lack ideas for how to give gifts that are free or inexpensive, but still meaningful. i lack motivation to decorate.

for the past several years, brooke and chris have done the majority of the holiday decorating. i wouldn't care if we did no more than erect a christmas tree with lights and call it a day, but that's not enough for those who share my home. they need more, more, more! i tolerate it. i try not to display my lack of enthusiasm for all the red and green pretties being sprinkled, plopped, strung, wound, hung and dumped around my space. they make my people so happy, but for me, they cause the exact opposite reaction.
see how nice and clean and pretty this looks?
nothing overwhelming or all consuming about the decor in this room.
just the way i like it.

i don't know why, but decorations make me feel claustrophobic. they feel like clutter and chaos. they're like noise to my eyeballs. in very small doses, decorations feel nice and pretty, but the more there are, the more i feel like the walls are shrinking in around me. like every time i walk into a room that's heavily froo-frooed with shedding greenery and bows and feathers and angels, i can feel myself tense up and it's as if there's an internal stereo blasting inside my head. i want to get away from it. i want to avert my eyes. i don't want to let any part of my skin or clothing brush against that fake green piney mess.
omgosh, my heart rate literally started pounding when i laid eyes on this pic.
i can hardly even look at it. must ... look...  away!

in the minds of my family, i guess i'm the scrooge. probably because i wrinkle my nose like something stinks when i see a room filled with decorative pretties and hear non-stop christmas tunes for two months straight. i think part of it stems from knowing that i'll have to clean up all the bits and glitter and scraps that land all over the house. i'll have to pick up the broken pieces of ornaments that my cats have broken or little light bulbs they've bitten and shattered. i'll have to pull the cat down from the top of the christmas tree over and over.

i've declared my bedroom and bathroom to be decoration-free zones. as long as i can get ready or relax in places that haven't been infiltrated by the fluff n stuff, i'll try to keep my cool. i'll try to remember that christmas is a happy, wonderful time where we remember Jesus more than some other times of year. and i'll try really hard to resist the urge to run around screaming, knocking down or throwing outside the millions of sparkly things that surround me through the rest of the house.

27 comments:

  1. I wouldn't think that of you. I figured you would be a gung ho kinda gal!!

    It would be happier if you were still in TN and you could see me! ;)

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  2. I struggle with Christmas too. We tell our kids the true meaning of Christmas and our church has an AWESOME Christmas Eve service. I like the idea of Santa, but I also want my kids to know that not every kid gets nice gifts under the tree just because they are good. And gift buying has gotten out of control. You tell people not to get you anything and then they do and you don't have anything to give them in return. And then comes the traveling. Kaleb and I normally have at least 5 Christmases to attend. The most joyous time of the year ends up being stressful.

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  3. You're "claustrophobic"? Isn't that fear of Santa Claus?
    So, no decorations in your bedroom? Does that include a Yule Log?
    Decorations go up at the Penwasser house this weekend. This includes the outside snowman who lost half his lights last year. Mrs. Penwasser is insisting that I fix him. She just isn't buying my suggestion that we tell people that Frosty just had a stroke last December.

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  4. I agree so much with this, down to your reasons for not being too fond of the decorations, great post.

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  5. The second pic is a bit over the top.
    We get a real tree. Probably next week or so.
    Christmas season isn't my favorite time of year. This year really sucks because my dueling banjo penguins won't play their banjos. They just sit there. :(

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  6. We don't decorate like mad. And our tree is fake.

    I mainly like the holiday foods.

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  7. amy, i'd love to get to visit you too. and i am a gung ho kinda gal, just not about decorating.
    we always have a real tree. seems like the fake ones don't look as pretty and plus the nice ones are really expensive up front.
    no al, no yule log in the bedroom or anywhere else.
    poor ruth with your dud penguins.

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  8. AMEN, clutter puts me into convulsions. My decorations are so neatly organized and spaced out, and if someone so much as moves a candle I lose my shit. True story

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  9. i should also add that decorations in other people's houses don't bother me. i don't walk into someone else's space & think it looks bad or want to run screaming out the door. it's mainly an issue for me in my own space.

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  10. I'm kind of a less is more person too when it comes to decorating but I do want to feel the season. Don't you? It's not so easy to capture as when we were little and there really was a Santa Claus and you didn't have to do anything except wake up and be happy and magical. Different now. Hang in there. Live well.

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  11. Oh my...you should see our living room. We have a 30 piece village I refused to pull down from the attic this year. Our tree and a nativity are it. The kids will make paper chains and that makes Mama a happy girl! I'm right there with you! If it's someone else's house, I love it, but otherwise, I know I'm going to spend 48 hours putting it all away which is just depressing!

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  12. I am kind of with you on this. I remember, when I was a kid in the 70s, my Mom and Grandma spending WEEKS cleaning and decorating. What a pain! We do a tree, nativity, a few things, but nothing that can't go up and down in a few hours. Word. Love the white room with the tree!

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  13. I can't seem to get excited about Christmas anymore, either. I can't afford to buy the gifts I'd like to buy for my kids and grandkids; I hate putting up and taking down the Christmas tree. I do love the food, though!

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  14. I have never been an over the top decorator. A tree was fine. I did like stringing up some greenery......real.

    When I started looking at all the blogs I thought I had to do the same..but, only in a few places. it did not overtake the house. at all....tree, railing and a counter.
    and it was a struggle for me.

    I love sparkly stuff in general.
    but for about the last 3 years, I have really struggled with the commercial aspect of it all. and found it all down right stupid and depressing and wanted it to all go away boxing day.......i was reading eccleciastes, and learned there is a time for everything, so with that in mind I hope to enjoy it more this year.....although all the decor stuff is quite stupid.
    but to appease the natives around here decor will go ahead. and this year i have very little commitment to posting much about it in my blog......

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  15. I'm in total agreement with you.

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  16. Sherilin, you just said a LOT of what is (or actually ISN'T) in my heart. I can't even begin to describe. I fake it till I make it as far as Christmas is concerned. Wow. I have to discuss this with you more.

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  17. Hmmm, this one is funny to me because I am a COMPLETE stress-ball in so many other areas when it comes to my house. Decorating for Christmas actually decompresses me. Even the putting away of things does not stress me. I became a collector of nativities the first year I was married and I think that helps. It is just calming to think of that night so full of ABSOLUTE Peace and Joy and knowing that is the real reason we celebrate this time of year. Of course, this year I am 8 mos preggo (uh, hello Mary! You rode a WHAT all the way to Jerusalem?!) so it may be a different story but SO FAR I am still looking forward to it. I do agree that the 2nd pic is over the top though! You just need to enjoy your tree and nativity at home and then go to a bunch of Christmas open houses to let your family enjoy some "extras"! I am also with you on the Christmas music. It doesn't start playing at my house until December 1st!

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  18. My friends house is like this but ALL YEAR ROUND. Not Christmas things, just..THINGS... little statues, knick knacks..everywhere! Even in the toilet! All I think when I see it is... "DUST!"

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  19. I am with you about the decorations- we have a total of 0 up at our house. Partly because we will be with family for christmas who go all out on decor and partly because I hate cleaning it all up!

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  20. We went crazy with the outdoor decorations. :-) The flower boxes on the front of the house are full of greenery, fake poinsettias and red velvet bows, the columns on the back entwined with boughs. We won a $50 GC from our neighborhood association last year, and my husband now has a taste for it. :-) Heaven help us!

    Pearl

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  21. I'm with you on the decorations, I always feel like it just seems like clutter. For some reason I'm having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit this year...we are having the same issues with money for gifts and that always makes it hard.

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  22. I am so with you on this---all the extra stuff hurts my eyeballs. I put up our tree this year and thats it. The rest can stay in storage.

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  23. I usually love decorating big time for the holiday, but couldn't make myself start it before husband went back overseas. Decorations are rather sparce this year, as I now have a kitten who thinks everything is put there for her to destroy. We gave up the tree years ago, as it was getting way to costly to purchase. Don't do presents anymore either. Haven't bought cards this year as no one I know ever sends them out anymore. I guess I've kind of pooped out on Christmas this year. I still love all the Christmas music.

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  24. I have this underlying disgust for Christmas that I don't quite understand myself. I think it has a lot to do with the expectations that I feel are placed on me.
    +followed

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  25. Here here! I hate the idea that you have to spend money on lights every freaking year! They never last. I don't have money for that. I don't have money for Christmas at all...but we do it for the babes, and that makes it enjoyable. ...and besides, I watched your snowflake video...some serious decorating going on there for pennies! (you do make the prettiest snowflakes in the land!) I am rambling. ...do you know how big those boobs look in that video...you weren't kidding! haha. ok, back to Christmas, it is a hard balance to focus on what is important in life, and not get caught up in the materialism, and glitter!

    I made the kids sting popcorn this year, because they always want to...well, after only a third of the tree was done, the work set in and then I said, SEE, THIS IS WHAT I GO THROUGH ALLLLL DAY LONG! NOW, CLEAN UP THE MESS! haha. I'll teach them!

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  26. Hallelujah! I'm just gonna say it. I don't really like the Christmas season. I like Christmas, but I hate being bombarded with the music and the decorations and the commercialism of it all. And I agree it's also cluttery and I don't want minature villages that could become home for the cockroaches...

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  27. Ok, so now I know NOT to invite you over for Christmas cookies at my house, it would drive you absolutely mad. Even though I do over decorate for the holidays, it is really about traditions. I try to recreate some of what I had as a child for my children. Do not let others make you feel bad for how you feel, my best friend has created a new Christmas holiday tradition for her family to get away from horrible holiday memories. They go to Mexico for the Christmas holiday and have for the past 3 years and she is now getting some of her Christmas spirit back.

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!