c@me1 toe and spicy bubbles

a friend of mine started something on facebook today when she said, "Mothers of daughters-only probably don't have words like boner, penis-fuzz, and nut-stench saved in their phone's auto correct."

and that got me to thinking that yes, she's right. i have no penile references programed into speed type in my phone. that would be pretty much boy or slut specific & neither of those refers to me in the here & now.

however, there are some mothers-of-girls goodies that i bet those mothers of the nut-stenchy, penis-fuzz mamas are missing out on.

when brooke was about 4, she told me that she had a "spicy vagina bubble." um.... a what? she explained that sometimes when she tooted, it went back up rather than out, causing her to have that oh-so-detestable "spicy bubble." she'd squirm & wriggle trying to free herself from that troublesome bubble. i thought it was pretty funny, but tried not to laugh at her serious little face because to her, it was no laughing matter.

a couple weeks later, we were out to dinner with a friend of ours who was, at the time, a 19 year old guy (still a guy, i think, but no longer 19). brooke loved brandon & was sitting beside him, chattering happily when suddenly she went silent & a strange look crossed her face. brandon asked what was wrong. she didn't even hesitate before telling him very seriously that she had another spicy vagina bubble. he was pretty sure he must have heard her wrong, so he asked her to repeat it. and of course she did, even more loudly and clearly than before. chris & i were choking on our tacos & sputtering for her not to say it again. brandon still wasn't sure & wasn't satisfied with "never mind. it's nothing, never mind. she's fine." so there i sat, in mo's defining just what a spicy vagina bubble is to a boy who was learning a valuable lesson - never ask for an explanation when a kid speaks & the parents choke, particularly if you think you might have heard the word vagina.

another little gem happened in target last summer. it was the end of the season, but brooke had outgrown all her bathing suits just in time for her pool party. so we were shopping for a new one & trying them all on since apparently she doesn't have that swanky, easy to fit body that most 7 year olds have. a friend called while we were in the dressing room & was curious as to why we'd be getting her a new suit when she'd probably outgrow it before the next swimming season. i covered the phone & whispered, "i don't want to see c@me1-toe on my child in the birthday party pictures."

little did i know little hawk-ears was eavesdropping as usual & scowled at me and asked very clearly, "mommy, why did you say i have C@me1 toes? i do NOT have C@ME1 TOES!" i could hear snickering coming from under the other dressing room walls on either side of us.

yeah, i bet moms of boys don't have "spicy vagina bubbles" and "c@me1-toe" programed into their phones.