once upon a time, there was a young woman. she thought of herself as cute, perky and funny with a dash of sexy thrown in. she spent much of her time making herself pretty and trying to smell good. she went out on dates with many possible suitors, but knew that each of them wasn't the ONE. she kept her eyes open and her weekends available, but eventually she grew hard hearted. she started to think that most men were only capable of lust rather than love. she was starting to despair that she'd ever find the man of her dreams. her knight in shining armor.
then one day, a fresh man arrived. he was new to the kingdom and was charming and kind. he loved the young woman in spite of the others she'd tried out before him. he only looked toward the future, never the past.
it wasn't long before the young woman and the fresh man fell madly in love. they couldn't stand to be separated and paged each other with silly codes whenever they were apart. the young woman wanted her man to always see her as a dainty flower. one who could do no wrong. she always wanted to be adorable and lovable so that the fresh man would never turn away from her and break her heart.
then one day, the young lady was lying on her stomach on the floor to get her back cracked by her fresh man. he leaned down & pressed on her back, producing many wonderfully stress-relieving cracks. the fresh man then proceeded to sit down on the young woman's backside & tickle her. he thought it would be funny to trap her in this way and make her squeal. little did the fresh man know, this was a very bad idea. the young woman wasn't capable of controlling herself when she was tickled. much to her horror and shame, the young woman let loose a jarring poot, directly onto the fresh man's bottom.
things changed between them after that. the illusions were gone and reality set in. and henceforth, the fresh man's name changed to Mr. Musty and the young woman's name was changed to Thunderpants.
what would your honest fairy tale name be?