Thursday, January 27, 2011

yes, she showed me her scar

i believe i'm going to need to apply the kitty rule again for this post. i'll use one i took yesterday since it's handy.


i try to never make fun of anyone other than myself on my blog and since there are miles and piles of things for me to choose from in my own list of stupid or embarrassing events, i rarely need to look elsewhere for blog fodder. but there's a story from many years ago that just makes me giggle every time i even think about it, so i'm going to tell it tonight, in spite of the fact that it involves my husband and a moment of delightful (for me) confusion.

i was newly pregnant with brooke, so it was about 9 years ago, when a friend came for a visit. she already had a baby, which of course meant that there was lots of talk about pregnancy & baby stuff during the visit. she mentioned, in the company of our husbands, that she'd had a c-section with hers. i asked if i could see her scar, so we went into another room and she showed it to me.

here is a diagram of what a c-sec scar should look like if done in a hospital around this time in history, just in case any of you aren't familiar with such nitty gritty. and yes, i did crop the boobs out of the picture cuz i get enough google hits from people looking for naughty stuff that's really not here. and my dad reads this blog sometimes & i don't want to distress him cuz i'm usually nice like that.


after our friends went home, my husband asked me about the c-section scar viewing.
he said, "did she show it to you?"

me, "yeah."

him, "how big was it?"

me, "like, this long" & held my fingers about 4 inches apart.

him, making a horrible face & cringing.

me, "i think that's pretty standard. though i haven't seen many of them. that's a scar that's rarely seen by others."

him, "no kidding! i'm surprised she showed you."

me, "what's the big deal?"

him, "how did she show it to you?"

me, "she pulled her pants down a little."

him, "... and then what?"

me, "what do you mean, then what? she pulled them down & showed it to me."

him, "but how? did she bend over?"

me, staring blankly, trying to work out just how i'd see a scar on her stomach if she was bending over. "of course she didn't bend over. it's right here!" and i drew a line across the bottom of my stomach.

we stared at each other for a few seconds, both of us totally discombobulated, before i realized what was causing the confusion. being that he was new to this whole pregnancy/baby/delivery business, he'd mixed up the words "c-section" and "episiotomy" (thank you, wikipedia for teaching us everything we need to know and want to share) and he'd thought that she was showing me the OTHER scar. no wonder he was so surprised at how nonchalant we were being about the whole topic. and no wonder he was cringing when i said the scar was 4 inches long!

24 comments:

  1. THAT is the best golden hubby moment EVER!!

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  2. I am still laughing as I type this, I can barely type this- btw my stomach hurts from laughing. ROTF, over and over again! haha...oh my! That was hilarious... I can imagine his face...and 4 inches hahahahahahahaahhahahaahah oh too freakin' hilarious! phew...

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  3. LOL! But seriously... OW! I had much tearing and needles and stitching down there after I had my son. *Holding legs together*... OW....

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  4. From a man's point of view, ignorance is bliss!
    I can just imaging his face as you were telling him all this.

    As an ex-medic I've seen a few 'C'-scars in the past, the worst being a three time torn and re-stitched one. It was about 7" long and a over an inch wide.

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  5. You are right that's hilarious! I found you over at Average Girl and I hope you'll check me out!
    http://confessionsofachronicwanderluster.blogspot.com/

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  6. Now that would be a REALLY close friend! So funny! Frankly, there's just too many things to learn when you're preggo and with a brain that's not working properly, everyone had just better watch out!

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  7. HA-- I would love to have seen his face as he was trying to figure everything out.

    Bring on the doughnut seat!!

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  8. Being that I have had 4 c-section this is a hoot. I just could not imagine have a 4 inch scar near the 'man in a boat'

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  9. One of my family members almost punched the nurse in the delivery room. His wife was having trouble and this nurse was, in his words - a bitch. Not knowing anything about child birth - when the after birth came out he thought the nurse was too rough with his wife and made all her insides fall out.
    Moron!

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  10. LOL! That was so freaking hilarious! I was laughing so hard I had both my kids wondering what was going on! I can only imagine what was going through his head! Lol!

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  11. I can only imagine the look on his face. That's awesome!

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  12. i love this!!!! omg that was too funny! guys are so clueless when it comes to girl stuff lol. my kids recently asked me what an episiotomy was... that was more interesting that talking about sex!!! after all i do tell them i make the rules and am the boss because i gave birth to them out of a golf ball sized hole... that usually gets me what i want with them!!! hahaha

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  13. Yeah, my wife is pregnant too, and this happens more than I like to admit... to anyone. Something gets said and I have no idea what is really meant.

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  14. OMG!!! Poor, Poor Man!!!
    This is hilarious!!!

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  15. Oh man, I am never having a baby...HA! I just learned more about this episiotomy thing and I think I will pass, thankyou!

    Hilarious story! please tell me the episiotomy is not 4 inches...Oye.

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  16. Haha! That's hilarious ... weird that men can watch violence in action movies, but just show them one little scar and they're quivering in their boots?

    Well, they are down here in Australia - I guess I can't speak for the rest of the world!

    Have a great weekend!!

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  17. That's too funny! I can now totally see the confusion. He was probably envisioning her pulling down her pants and hiking her legs up to her shoulders and couldn't figure out why it was 'no big deal'. Bless him.

    By the way, you are quite funny and that's the reason you have some bloggy love over at my place if you care to come collect.

    http://rantsravesfactsnfics.blogspot.com/

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  18. Oh my goodness.....I can imagine his concern/horror..........that you'd be looking at THAT scar.

    so funny,
    Thank you Wikepedia

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  19. I know that blank stare.
    At my house it usually followed with me being called "Einstein".

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  20. I have to ask about the kitty thing? I thought that was something only a few certain bloggers did if you were going to show something R-rated.

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!