Tuesday, January 11, 2011

how to give eye drops to a kid

have you ever had to give a kid eye drops? when they were awake? i'm not sure if it would be easier to sneak up on a sleepily unsuspecting kid & drop them in then, but when my girl is awake & needs a drop, all hell is about to break loose up in this mutha.

i decided that maybe i should put together a manual to help any of you who might ever need to do this because it is a much more daunting task than one might imagine.

1. determine that your kid really does have some sort of eye problem that's bad enough to need drops, but not bad enough to need professional medical attention. as in, is the kid crying and/or holding dastardly eye with hand for extended period of time, but the eye isn't shooting blood? could it have gotten something, like oh, possibly ashes from a campfire in it? ok then, proceed to the next step.

2. get some saline drops. not visine or other form of drops known for getting the redness out. those can burn & cause more shrieking from the wounded animal  child. the saline really feels like nothing more than tears in the eye & won't hurt, so don't believe the animal child if they claim that drops will make it worse.

3. position yourself & the child into an open space so that any flailing or jerking will not cause further injury to either party.

4. lay child onto his/her back while keeping the bottle of saline close at hand.

5. sit on your child's chest so that the arms are pinned down & cannot slap, beat, pinch or choke you. be careful not to sit so hard that you cut off child's air, no matter how much they struggle & piss you off scream pernicious things ask you to kindly remove yourself.

6. take a deep breath & sing a happy song in your head to counteract the screaming & kicking that is most likely now occurring. focus on the end goal. you can do this.

7. using your left hand, gently push the child's head to one side so that the vexatious eye in on top. hold it firmly in place with your forearm.

8. grab that saline bottle with your right hand.

9. try to maneuver the fingers of your left hand to the eye area & get ready to pry the eyelids apart as soon as you drop the juice in the eye socket vicinity.

10. aim that bottle at the rotten eye in question & give a big squirt. most of the fluid will likely fly around the child's face and floor around the head because of the struggling & screaming & your lack of proper aiming technique, but this isn't the time for precision. just get it in there!

11. left hand PRY. get those eyelids pulled far enough apart that at least one drop makes its way into the eyeball. this is a very important step because if none of it gets into the eye, you will have to repeat the whole process again and most likely the child will be even more irate than he/she was for the first round.


12. release your grip on your child and quickly move away for long enough to determine if there will be any immediate retaliation. when you feel sure that your child will not pummel you for this kindly service you just provided, scoop up said child for some hugs & sweet murmurings while wiping the remnants of 1/2 cup of saline solution off of his/her head & neck with your shirt.
 
13. drink wine and vow you'll make your kid wear safety goggles all day, every day to prevent the necessity of ever having to repeat steps 1 thru 12.
 
you're welcome.

23 comments:

  1. Hey! I just want you to know I can hardly read you story in my old age...it is hard to find the grey words against to red. I had to give up...

    But I cannot remember how to give eyedrops to kids...it was too traumatising!

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  2. Hi - lovely blog - I'm here on the hop to follow. Shah. wordsunsync.blogspot.com

    XX

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  3. I think it might be easier to put the child out for a few seconds, save the screaming. And the screaming would just be me!

    CJ xx

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  4. It may save everyone a traumatic experience if all kiddies with eye-troubles were just bundle up and sent to you ... what with your experience and all ... it should be a piece of cake.

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  6. I can remember when Emily Grace was little, and had to have prescription ointment put in her eyes twice daily! We would squirt a little on the index finger and sneak up behind her while she was in the high chair, jabbing it into her eye before she could protest..(the protests followed closely after).. It was horrible, yet funny everytime!

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  7. lmao you are too much! after 3 boys, of course i had it down to a science when they were little. pink eye would run rampid through our house... but i discovered the best way to get the drops in their eyes is to have them lay on the couch, close both eyes, put a drop on the inside and then have them open. it was way less traumatic and i never got swung at after that lol

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  8. daisy, that sounds way better than what i do, but my kid's a fighter & a stubborn one at that. seems unlikely she'd willingly open her eye ever again if there was juice sitting in her eye socket bowl. but it might be worth a try. next time. if she forgets to wear her safety goggles.

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  9. OMG!!! A cat would be much easier!!!

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  10. Heh! That was an amusing post! Your girl was a sport to pose for the pic!

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  11. I love this.....it is so true. Hoping I don't have to attempt this anytime soon!

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  12. Lol! Too funny & way to true:) I'm totally going to think of this post when it's my turn to put drops in my boys baby blues! Following on the tuesday hop:)
    mamasherri.blogspot.com

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  13. Ha ha ha. Almost, but not quite as bad as trying to do the same thing to my oldest cat. Very funny.

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  14. I had to use allergy eye drops on my 5 yr old for 4 days and I bribed her every day w/ chocolate and last day w/ ice to celebrate the ending of horror! I totally understand though you'd think we were pulling their toenails out or something. Now following from todays blog hop come by {undeservingrace when you have a chance!
    -tara

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  15. Sherilin, you are SO FUNNY! I don't have kids but I sure do remember giving my parents a hard time with eye drops! That picture cracks me up!

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  16. Great list of instructions. I like step 13!

    Dropping in from Best Posts of the Week. Have a great weekend!

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  17. oh my goodness i have been there & this made me both crack up laughing and cringe with the memory. oh dear. think I need to get some of those goggles!

    While I am here, love that you have me in your blogroll but the link is out of date since I moved to wordpress (don't know why Im having this problem but anyway). Could you update poss pls? everythingisedible.com/blog

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  18. Your content is shows potential, m gona add this to my bookmarks. dry eyes

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  20. You guys make it really easy for all the folks out there.
    NAC Eye Drops

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  21. Love it! I'm waiting for my 7 yr-old to wake up so I can administer the dreaded drops; I'm lucky if I can catch him!!

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!