Sunday, January 16, 2011

pablo, my love

i'm implementing the kitty rule. as in, when you're going to post a picture on your blog that might be racy or gross or in some way shocking in the dashboard of your readers, you post a picture of a kitten first so that's the one that will show up in the reader. here is the gratuitous kitty picture. (this was one of our kittens in the spring)

this is not pablo.

i have a little secret to confess. you guys can't tell anyone because it might cause problems for me at home. ok, i've found a new love. his name is pablo.

pablo is truly amazing when it comes to meeting my needs. in this relationship, i'm not expected to give anything back at all, it's just take, take, take on my end. pablo doesn't ask anything for himself. he's a great listener. smooth and sleek. he knows how to get into me and give me pleasure like no one ever has before. when i reach for pablo, i'm reaching out of desperation. out of pain. and i know that pablo will never let me down.

pablo, i wish i'd found you sooner. i don't know how i lived my whole life without you. you fulfil a need i have that no one has ever been able to even get close to before. where others are weak, you are strong. and let's be honest - you are curved in the best possible way. i think about you frequently. i can't go a whole day without you. when i'm out with my husband, we can be sitting there at dinner or in a movie, but sometimes i can't think of anything but you. i need you! sigh. i have to get my pablo fix frequently. i just need to grab you & put you straight into my mouth. aahhh, the relief. the satisfaction. you're like a drug to me.

judge me gently, people. meet my lover, pablo the tooth picker. he can pick teeth like nobody's business and he'll never splinter like a wooden toothpick. shun the wood. go for metal!


if i could afford some dental care, i might be able to kick pablo to the curb, but until then, the affair continues.

32 comments:

  1. I thought maybe pablo was a vibrator! lol

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  2. That was too funny! So glad you chose to show the picture of a kitty first.

    My thoughts at the first glance at the photo of Pablo goes to show just where my mind goes automatically. I thought what Eva did.

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  3. I thought Pablo vibrated too at first look! Too funny!

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  4. This is so funny. I was thinking vibrator the whole time. We are so terrible.

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  5. sorry to disappoint you, ladies. pablo is my 2 inch long picker. i would never show you my vibrator. my mom reads my blog! oh wait, i mean, i don't have a vibrator.

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  6. Um....even after I saw the picture, I still thought Pablo was a vibrator!

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  7. good grief! and ouch! it's a 2 inch long metal spike meant to dig things out of teeth!!! man, i'm so misunderstood. :dramatic swoon:

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  8. Oh man, I was a little worried after I started reading, but you don't dissapoint! As a dental hygienist in training, I commend you for your love affair ( just dont tell my husband I said that);-)

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  9. Man when I saw the picture... I thought it was a tampon... lol... and I thought what a nifty little device she can carry it in and around her neck to boot!

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  10. I like the kitty rule. It's a good one :)
    funny story:
    one afternoon when we thought our son was occupied with his ipod, hubby and I got frisky. When suddenly we heard son ask from the other side of the door "whats that buzzing?"
    We froze.
    "It's the shaver" hubby answered.

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  11. tracy, that would be a handy dandy little carrying device, woudn't it?
    littlesprite, that's hilarious! cuz we all use the electric shaver in our bedrooms in the middle of the day!

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  12. I thought it was a vibrator too, even after I saw the picture. I crossed my legs and make an ouchie face, like, "Really? How does she... really??"

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  13. I gotta admit ... I scrolled down to see what was coming, so I spoiled the surprise for myself.

    Imaging 'rattling' your 'hot-spot' with a two inch metal spike!

    Yikes!

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  14. I thought the pic was of TWO vibrators and was intrigued by that thought. Simultaneously, I was horrified by the metal wire!

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  15. I really don't know what is more hilarious, your post or everyones comments! Loved it!

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  16. Well, electric toothbrushes vibrate.. maybe Pablo does too? I must try wearing an apron with a front pocket and setting my phone to 'vibrate'. I'll get even more missed calls than I do now!

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  17. Another great post you've got here! Although, like symdaddy, I, too, spoiled the surprise for myself, by quickly going on to the 2nd pic. you posted.... But, the comments here, had me laughing my abs off. Thanx for the exercise session today! Hopefully, by swimsuit season, I'll look great!

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  18. I thought pablo was the cat, then a vibrator, then a tampon with a wire string....geez girl you had me going.

    Then yes undies on the floor , knob and swinging off the bed post, but the walls....not here. Not unless it was a wild night!

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  19. All the comments had me roaring... You never heard about frank eh? I had an affair with him....he is the air compressed nail gun. Now that's a fun time.

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  20. oh my , brother and sister in law were caught in the act when their five year old walked in the room and yelled " Dog pile on mummy"

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  21. steamy, i've been crossing my legs & cringing too just imagining what all these freaky deeky commenters are thinking for me! owie zowie!

    btw, the cat is actually named hector. and she's a girl. what is it with me & the inappropriate latino naming of things?

    i gotta say, you people have made this post way more exciting with all your colorful comments! thanks for that.

    and pink, i clean houses for a living & i once found panties dangling from a ceiling fan. must have been a good night at that house! and lol about dog piling mom! haha!

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  22. Totally was thinking Vibrator. New follower :)

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  23. HA-- reading these comments has made me LAUGH MY ABS OFF! :)

    Thanks for stopping by and visiting my blog today.... AND leaving a comment.

    And where's my Diet Coke, girl??? Follo-wah to your blog too!

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  24. So funny, I thought Pablo was a vibrator too! HAHA, the kitten idea is great and very funny oh and adorable! :)

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  25. Bahahaha, I totally though Pablo was a little vibrating friend too! But then I read the bit about putting it in your mouth?! Great post - and Hector is adorable!

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  26. New Tuesday follower! I hope you'll follow me back!
    www.texastypeamom.com

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  27. Hahaha !
    As it happens, i have the exact same picker!

    I bought it a few weeks back and it is a lifesaver .

    I don't think about it as often as you do though . :)

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  28. So...I'm at work blushing and giggling hoping my Spam filter doesn't kick in!
    Great post! Funny, made me look and totally sharing!
    -r

    BTW: Visiting from Best Post of the Week

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  29. Did NOT see that coming! Too funny!

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  30. how did I miss this post??? I was expecting Pablo to look picasso-esque. That would have been cool!

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don't let me be the only one doing the talking around here. spill your guts!